***** Inter Galactic News *****
The Worm Turns
The FET have reduced relations with the IMP to neutral. Sneezy boss Cu Chulainn took the bold step of putting 1 and 1 together by linking recent mercenary attacks in their systems with the IMP scouts seen loitering for some time and refusing to move. Even bolder, hints that they believe “a certain Imperial citizen” is responsible for Edward Lowe’s entire underhand operation were voiced loudly enough that the handsome but hard of hearing Tiberius Crowe had to take note. He was seen grappling in trademark fashion with his skin tight jacket, pulling it down over his partially concealed middle-aged girth, as he sat to issue a terse public statement. Exactly who this citizen may be was left unnamed and no news channel subject to Imperial laws would dare unmask the villain. Luckily dear readers, we are not subject to phony Imperial laws. It’s Jack Jones everybody. Jack Jones, butcher of Naplians and fancier of silver long johns.
Cover art by Colourbrand
*** In Brief ***
Whilst the FET have been busy shooting down Edward Lowe’s endless supply of warships there is a heartwarming story of the rescue of Nat Mills, an unlucky FRE captain who was discovered huddled behind some vacuum sealed cargo. Poor old Nat was captured by a pirate and his ship pressed into service running supplies for the mercenaries. Whether this was the infamous Pirate Large or his many acolytes and thus linking Lowe, Large and Jones in a disturbing Shades of Gray masturbatory romcom is largely conjecture at this point.
The DOM have been busy filling in the blanks in their recent romp against PRV ships they had in all probability sold (see last edition of the SSS). It turns out the PRV ships have been harassing DOM targets in Orion Spur for some time and this was the reason for their demise, rather than general buffoonery as first alluded to by the nonsensical Cromwell. This raises the interesting question of who might be behind the PRV. With the DOM backing one mercenary enacting the IMP agenda (the tired caricature that is the soulless Mr Lowe), they may have wrinkled the schnozzles of their allies the DEN. Could the bad hairy mothers be making trouble in a region of space they see as their own territory?
*** Public Notice ***
Due to recent events there will be Restriction of the Orbits of all planet in DOM claimed systems in the Orion Spur to all but DOM and those with express permission. This will be a temporary measure and is intended to facilitate both the safety of DOM shipping and to avoid misunderstandings or suspicion to those in these areas without ill will.
The Restriction will occur as of 219.9.2, allowing law abiding Captains time to vacate these areas.
I forward my apologies to any this inconvenience, though it is hard to imagine how this would be the case as construction of assets, exploration or exploitation is prohibited without permission so there is no need for anyone to be in these areas. To reiterate this is only for DOM claimed systems where we have legal authority and the jump rings will remain open to all for purposes of transit through the systems.
This applied only to claimed systems in the Orion spur, all other regions remain unaffected.
Office of Imperator Cromwell
*** Letters to the Editor ***
### URGENT COMMUNIQUE ###
FAO “The Editor”
Alias: The Mewling Prick, Alarmist
Known Associations: Substandard Sourceless Supposition, Sub Space Static
++ Upon receipt of this Document it is understood that you “The Editor” have been served with a Writ. ++
Editor’s Note: But alas no wit…
++ You are obligated to comply with the terms contained within or provide a legal defence ++
All references contained here in are related to comments published by “The Editor” in Sub Space Static: Volume 5. Issue 2.
Section 1.1 – Breach of Accuracy and standards for factual reporting
Journalism ethics and standards
Reporters are expected to be as accurate as possible given the time allotted to story preparation and the space available and to seek reliable sources.
Events with a single eyewitness are reported with attribution. Events with two or more independent eyewitnesses may be reported as fact. Controversial facts are reported with attribution.
Independent fact-checking by another employee of the publisher is desirable.
Corrections are published when errors are discovered.
Defendants are treated only as having "allegedly" committed crimes, until conviction, when their crimes are generally reported as fact
The appropriate Honorific is Imperator not Lord. Imperator Cromwell is not of nobility nor does he claim to be so.
The charges were indeed bad manners. It is the worst kind of manners to pursue, repeatedly attack and break system charters in legally held systems. A clarification you could have obtained were you to make any effort to ask.
Merciless carnage was an assumption as is the fact the HK fleet were targetted due to being PRV. Information freely available from my office would have shown you the truth, but you chose to print inaccurate and factless opinion.
The action was fact the legal response to breach of system charters, murder and sabotage of defenceless freighters. Acts to secure safety and liberty to those who wish to peacefully and lawfully traverse the Orion Spur.
Consensus in the galaxy’s ruling class is that not presenting valid identification is a crime could not be further from the truth. The DOM have been in support of "conflags" and PRVs ongoing legal status. Inaccurate and again unsourced opinion.
A crime worthy of the murder of dozens, perhaps hundreds, of unfortunate crewmen was exactly what we the DOM suffered, not perpetrated. We killed no unfortunates, we murdered no one, we executed murderers in our sovereign claimed systems for their crimes as is our Law and as is our right.
Your own imagination led you to contradict yourself as you both accused us of merciless carnage yet also mild exertions of power. Weare pleased you consider the Dominions acts as mild exertions and cold blooded. It confirms that we have been efficient and not wasteful of resources in upholding the law, peace and the will of DOM, all while remaining logical and non emotive in our decisions, rather than acting like a blustering, hot headed fool like a young Harry V.
Section 1.2 - Harm limitation principle
Only an overriding public need can justify a breach of privacy or security.
Show good taste. Avoid pandering to lurid curiosity and imagination.
The exact location was and is a matter of security and as such not suitable for public domain. Publishing this information would jeopardise active personnel still in the region.
39% (70/178 words) of your recent article were factual, the rest supposition and lurid imagination.
Most of your article is slanderous and subject to libel. To avoid further legal action we demand a retraction and apology in your next publication. If you comply no financial or punitive actions will be deemed necessary. Failure to comply will result in the full force of the legal department being focused on seeking damages.
We hope you will try to do better in your allotted task.
Specifically we expect a retraction for the entire article and a written apology from the Editor for his slanderous and unreasonable attack on Imperator Cromwell, the crews of the DOM Ships involved in the incident and the DOM as a whole. This is to be in your next publication.
Further I would advise you to apologise to Mr Wodenzoon of the DNA for your impoliteness, poor manners really are unacceptable.
Regarding the Dewick [sic]. I feel will be more than content as being reported as Bloodthirsty, possibly the only thing you were correct on in the entire article.
The Editor responds: After consultation with our Junta Legal Advisor, Mr. S.H. Redder, we the staff of the SSS have filed a class-action countersuit for collective damages of $3,000,000 for psychological trauma and loss of earnings under article 3741A of the Quantum Entanglement Statutes which links the firing of photon energies near singularities with inverse time causality. Your transmission has in its careless emission from a great black hole precluded the Editor and his staff from pursuing a more lucrative career as Dominion gas bags. Instead, we have by deterministic necessity been forced to take a less profitable path as snide public commentators and journalists of slightly below average calibre. According to Laplace’s equations, you Mr. Cromwell are directly / indirectly responsible for our situation. Therefore, we’ll see you in court!
*** Featured Blogs ***
Kal Torak's Blog - The Letter
It was that time of the day again, and it was something that Kal Torak always looked forward to.
It was time to once again, reach out to the True One’s bible and continue with his indoctrinate lessons into the True Faith.
With a glass of Wrack Gin on one side and his most valued book on the other, he proceeded to pick up the bible and carefully opened the book.
Just as he had picked up his glass to have a drink, he was interrupted by his loyal servant UL.
“Holy Gorim, I have found this in one of the base vaults, and I immediately came to see you”.
UL handed the item to Torak.
It was an old sealed envelope that had writing on it that he had never seen before.
Torak was intrigued. Who would have done this?
He looked closely at the envelope. It had strange scriptures, that he thought he recognised.
“This scripture looks familiar!” thought Torak.
He picked up the True One’s Bible and turned pages rather quickly, it seemed that Torak had seen something like this in the bible.
At long last, he found what he was searching for. It seems that this is a very old language for that the True One used many years ago, and there was a few pages within the bible that explained and deciphered what the scripture meant.
He looked and the envelope, then looked at the bible, then the envelope again. He picked up his stylus and tablet and proceeded to write things down at a very fast pace.
Finally, after nearly 2 hours of trying to decipher the scripture, he had finished. He stopped, put the stylus down and then looked at his tablet to see what the end results were.
He looked down and his heart missed a beat and he became hot, clammy and very very uncomfortable.
Very slowly, he started reading………………………..
“Hail Kal Torak.
This is thy brother Galaphile.
Inside this envelope is a personal letter from me to you. Let it be known, that I hate thee my brother and I smote thee. I was weak but you are not”
Torak stared at this envelope without breathing. Why was this letter written? Why was it hidden in a vault and Why did his brother hate him so much?
With shaking hands and his mind and soul totally in turmoil, he slowly opened the letter…………………..
Arjun Khatri's Blog - Once more with feeling
Arjun paused as he walked down the exit ramp of the transport, landing after sundown was certainly for the best, the heat of the planet was not as intense as it was during the day. Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply of the night air but almost immediately had to grasp a nearby support bracket as his head began to spin. The vast array of odours rippling through the heat of the local air assaulted his finely tuned senses in a great wave. The controlled environment of the transport ship had certainly slowed his processing down. Smiling a brief apology and waving away the offer of aid from the concerned employee disembarking behind him he continued down the ramp.
The landing zone at the outpost was swarming with various employees and military staff and he cheerfully acknowledged the hails and calls from various personnel as they passed him on the way to their assigned tasks. He took pride in the fact that he travelled with the regular staff, mingling with them at meals and sharing their games and stories during the long journey. He might be the leader here but he knew the lifeblood and, dare he say it, very soul of the base was pulsing through the staff that filled it. No matter how mundane an individual might personally feel their task was, Arjun knew they were all important and he made it a habit to give everyone equal respect regardless of rank. Although, he had to admit, this was something that didn't sit particularly well with his military command staff.
He casually drifted through the base, occasionally offering advice or issuing an order, until finally he found himself alone at the perimeter. Choosing a shadowed spot where the glow of the closest light panels was blocked by a nearby stack of modules he closed his eyes and listened. Gradually he allowed the multitude of noises emanating from the activity in the base behind him to diminish. With those noises filtered out he allowed his mind to briefly settle in silence before expanding his awareness to accept the sounds coming from the surrounding desert. At the very moment he felt ready to attempt to drink deeply of the air again he stopped and opened his eyes, "Commander Isha, how good of you to join me". Arjun smiled at his military commander as she stepped into the shadows, she stared directly at him before cocking an eyebrow, "It appears... sir, that you forgot to tell the troops assigned to guard duty of your movements this evening".
Arjun continued to smile, "Commander, you've known me far too long. I intentionally left that particular detail out of the briefing documents. Otherwise you wouldn't have known where to find me. Oh... and I note that you still can't bring yourself to drop the formalities, 'sir' honestly, it really is unnecessary when the troops aren't around".
"I knew where to find you 'sir' because I assigned one of my station team to track you on the sensors as soon as you disembarked. You do tend to go walkabout. You're not considering going for a 'walk' out there this evening are you?" Commander Isha nodded to the night enshrouded desert beyond the base.
"Isha", Arjun ignored the slight stiffening of the commanders shoulders at his informal address, "Isha, we've spoken about this before, I like to get a sense of a place. A real sense, just as the Great Mother intended. That means the full Felini sensory experience complete with the risks."
The commander opened her mouth to speak but Arjun continued, "I know I will be at no personal risk. You've said yourself that you've been tracking me on the sensors and I suspect that the desert surrounding me will be turned to glass by firey death from orbit if you think I am threatened. You've probably already got a shuttle team on high alert too". He chuckled as he saw by his commanders expression he was right.
"Commander, relax, I trust you completely to do your job in an exemplary manner. I simply wish to gain a full Felini perspective on things, getting a 'feel' for life here to support our technology-driven discoveries".
"You are beginning to sound like an Elamite..." Isha, looked at her superior with suspicion.
Arjun caught the look, his face turned serious, "Commander, I am loyal to the Tyranny. You know this. I am but a very small cog in a much bigger machine but I am very definitely part of the machine. You do not need to fear for me on that account".
Commander Isha regarded her superior with an intense stare for a moment before bobbing a small nod, "Very well, one hour sir, then I'm despatching a recovery team".
Arjun smiled again, as he started to walk "I will be back before the hour is out". He moved smoothly away from his commander and the base, slipping in amongst the darkness of the desert.
A few minutes later, as he stood in the desert Arjun once again, inhaled deeply of the rich, night air. The subtle tastes on the currents whispering across the ground filling his mind. This time his head did not swim but sang with the euphoria of new sensations. Perhaps the Elamites have a point he thought, before he slipped further into the night.
Ruimtegehaktbal's A New Perspective
Captain's log, stardate 219.7.3
Today I have been given my first command, the survey ship Perspective. Unscratched paint on the outside, cardboard and ducttape on the inside. There's a soda machine. It's designed for expeditionary missions, ready for selfdefense should the need arise. My employer selected a crew comprised entirely of Mohache, a race not known for its prowess in battle. Some might question the wisdom of this combination. Personally, I just hope they don't shed too much.
My first day threatened to be uneventful. If there's one thing I can't stand for, it's inefficiency. Realizing my crew had nothing to do, I pointed at a random device and demanded to see the manual. Somehow my 64-headed crew managed to spend the entire day scouring the ship for said manual. Finally, they handed me a hastily scribbled note that lacked any useful information whatsoever, with the added comment that the device could do quite a bit of damage, even though the device was in fact an engine. I suppose that must be so if you point it at your face.
I consider this a succesful day.
Captain's log, stardate 219.7.4
We were called to the office of a Kastorian big shot. He handed out a selection of scary-looking devices to my crew. Assuming they were peace pipes, several crewmembers immediately attempted to smoke them.
Thankfully, one of them pointed out to the others that these were in fact boomsticks and should be pointed away from the face, similar to engines. I promoted that one to Chief Tactical Officer. I forgot his name.
The Kastorian directed us to inspect the building plot for his holiday home. He mentioned there would be a few untrustworthy figures present, cryptically gesturing toward our weapons, and said something along the lines of "don't mind if you smoke one or two freebooters while you're there". I hope that wasn't code language for "please clean up our colony site". After only two days I already know my crew is terrible at cleaning.
Captain's log, stardate 219.7.5
We're on our way back from a successful survey. We have collected some nice plants and flowers for our Kastorian friend. Also a jar of dirt. But mostly plants, I hope he likes plants. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. He seemed the type to appreciate plants. Or maybe he would prefer more dirt?
*** Game News ***
Planetary infrastructure such as planetary shields, universities and strion upgrades will now begin to decay. This will be shown on your base turn report. More details here.
*** Affiliations ***
AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - Yahn Wodenzoon
DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
DEN Dewiek Elder Nation (67) - Aadolf
DOM Dominion (57) - bcd
ERC Eldar Rawk Conclave (83) - RAO
FCN Falconian Republic (70) - Crius Grimtail
FEA Felini Elamite Autonomy (60) - Kr'Shan
FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Mrrshan
FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
GRC Gracians (13) - HG1
GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
GCE Garcia Enterprises (4) - Neil
HEX Hexamon (23) - Ando
IMP Imperial Services (51) - Tiberius Crowe
KRL Krell (30) - Namica
KRT Krell Clan Black Rat (37) - Psy Nexu
KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
MZC Mizuchi Combine (86) - Mizuchi
MOH Mohache (73) - Listens
NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
RCF The Red Confederate Forces - ???
RRH Roy Robert Holdings (39) - Roy Roberts
SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
USN Ulian Stellar Nation (34) - Oedipus Prime
WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz
NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
Inactive: ANT, BHD, COD, HVE, IDC, RIP, SKW, TAG
Deceased: CAL, MIC
*** Submission ***
By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous.