Phoenix
Phoenix Nexus News ****** CSNN ******, Issue 17 - Star Date 216.20.5
****** CSNN ******, Issue 17 - Star Date 216.20.5

****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

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Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, continuing with a shortened "No News makes Good news?" special!

And so with the news,


No News = Good News? - GTT Ship shot in Twilight

The GTT trade ship named " Totally Not A Spy Vessel" was shot up by a FLZ at the Twilight end of the Solo stargate.

It was reported that ship turned left to Twilight rather than turning right to Twinkle (now named Valhalla). Sources within the GTT have stated they are scrambling to update navigation computers with current system names.

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Use a Sextant guys. They work and they are old. Like really, really old!


No News = Good News? - Wombling Wimbles Deploy Weapon of DOOM (or maybe not!)

The inexperienced crew of a Wimble warship (yes, we double checked that too!) named XWS Qqihebto were left clueless when they entered orbit of a outpost which had been lost to Mercenary forces which suddenly imploded before their eyes (or should that be sensors).

After the crew had got out from under their consoles and mattresses, they still didn't know what happened.

Military Experts speculate the wombling wimbles may have been witnesses to another battle in the same location, but this claim has been hampered by the lack of wimble witnesses due to the crew being in hiding at time.

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Yup, That's our warship! Really???

No News = Good News? - Pirate Large Spotter Splatted

A spotting ship fielded by Pirate Large was spotted itself at splatted by CAL forces this week in the Arridian system.

Code:

 PIR Invisible Eyes of Large (52187) - Ship
Eyes Invisible Class Explorer {Light Ablative Armour}
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!


The "Eyes Invisible Class" vessel was clearly visible at the time of shooting and has led military experts to ponder if this ship name is a PR stunt of some kind.

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Invisible! Not as good as the CIA therm-optic camo!


No News = Good News? - Pilot Carelessness Causes Damage To Vessel

An unsteady pilot caused considerable integrity to his ship this week by conducting unsafe manoeuvres:

Code:
 Ship lost 41.8% integrity due to manoeuvre


The unnamed pilot had been relieved from duty and is said to be confined to quarters by the ship's doctor after a moonshine still was found in the ship's engine room. The remainder of the moonshine has been confiscated and the ship's officers are said to be in "High Spirits".

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Just a couple of patches worth of damage, Sir!

No News = Good News? - IDC asks the DTR something....

After a very slow week, the PD of the IDC asks the DTR if he may trade at a DTR starbase. Curiously the DEN answered for the DTR, with no response being forthcoming from the DTR.

After that, nothing really happened as the DTR, once the beacon of truth and justice in the known universe, has not been seen or heard of at all.

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Boring, so Boring....

This ends of another unbiased edition of CSNN of which we hope we can bring updates to these news stories,

This is Ainsley Moore, reporting for the CSNN, let peace and prosperity be upon you all.

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****** End of Transmission ******

 
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