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SubSpace Static Archive
214
Previous Years
Intergalactic News
The Dewiek Special
Issue 31
Issue 30
Issue 29
Issue 28
Issue 27
Issue 26
Older Issues
 
213.41 - 213.45

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.41  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.41.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** TCA Declared Big Girl’s Blouses By Galaxies Greatest Editor ***

Puny earthling meatsacks across the Inner Empire Of Wretched Humanity are reported to be relaxed after the TCA incursion appears to have run out of steam with precisely zero mass casualties on any major inhabited worlds.

Kang is disappointed, but not surprised, following their loss of many ships to the Dewiek, Kang has always considered the TCA to be highly over-rated.

But Kang still holds out hope that the TCA may simply be mustering their resources in preparation for a military strike that will leave humanity nothing but a smoking ruined footnote in history.

This is one of Kang’s greatest dreams.

DO NOT DISAPPOINT KANG!


*** Mohache Collapse Like Meatsack Impaled On Combine Harvester ***

Things are looking bleak for gutless yet insanely rich farming commune the Mohache this week, as it appears the cheerful slave-holding psychotic space-bikers of the Dominion have seized almost all Mohache assets in what is being described as a ‘bloodless takeover’, but which Kang understands to be somewhat closer to a ‘brutal takedown’.

With this mass seizure of assets the Dominion are catapulted from Minor Players in the Peripheries to Major Powerhouse in one step, while the Mohache become, for want of a better phrase, downtrodden slaves.

Normally Kang does not like to see groups of pathetic humans subjugating the so-called alien races, as Kang hates you human meatsacks the most. But Kang has to applaud the sheer audacity of this takeover. Truly, nature abhors a vacuum. Almost as much as Kang abhors YOU!

Remaining pockets of MOH are understood to be fleeing from victorious DOM forces, and Kang suspects they may very well be regretting their decision to embrace pacifism in the face of a hostile universe. Kang has never seen a Periphery-wide Empire collapse quite this quickly.

Is this the Last Of The Mohache?

Kang rather suspects so.


*** Flagritz Whipping Boys ***

The glorious Flagritz Empire’s favoured pathetic mewling whipping boys, the pathetic Confederacy, continue their capitulation in the Cluster Periphery, as the mighty FLZ seize the claim for the Espionage system.

Kang is pleased to see wretched earth-thing meatsacks of the Confederacy claiming the system in the name of the Glorious Flagritz, continue to recognise superior forms of life puny humans, and Kang may consider your species to have some value other than as a fire retardant.

Kang contacted puny human ‘emperor’ Lysander for comment, but Kang was too busy laughing down the communication device to ask any questions.


*** DTR Lose Outpost ***

Brutal yet tedious kitten slaughterers, the Detinus Republic, have lost a small outpost to the GTT this week in the Titan system.


*** DTR Lose Battle ***

A small kitten-slaughterer ground party has been destroyed by the whinging IMP in the Straddle system this week. Kang understands 15 lives were lost. Kang delivers a D- for effort.


*** Whipping Boys Drop Claim ***

The Confederacy has dropped their attempt to counter-claim the Arachnid system away from the tedious Detinus Republic. Kang suspects they need those troops elsewhere.


*** Pirates ***

Pirate vessels have boarded a freighter in the Coptuv system in the Corewards Arm, puny traders, CARRY MORE GUNS!


*** RIP Prisoner Repatriation Scheme ***

Hopeful scam artists the RIP have re-launched their Prisoner Repatriation Scheme – a scheme that was closed down some years ago when it was revealed to be a thinly concealed slave trading market. Presumably they are hoping meatsacks have short memories. KANG HAS BAD NEWS FOR YOU, HOPEFUL RIP! Meatsacks in these Peripheries still carry grudges for things that happened 20 years ago.

It remains to be seen how successful this will be, as when it last closed down the tedious DTR were making noises along the lines of annihilating the slave trade wherever they found it, and looking meaningfully at the RIP.

Kang pities you worthless meatsacks, slavery is the only logical solution to a universe over-populated with wretched earth-things. USE YOUR BRAINSTEMS! Pah, Kang does not have time to properly re-educate you all now.


*** Important Message For All Regarding TCA Invasion ***

www.phoenix-krell.org.uk/Ulianwelcome.htm

KANG APPROVES!



*** Falconian Cluster News ***

There have been no further TCA sightings in the region. Falconian forces have slowed their withdrawal from the region to be ready should they return.

A large number of Confederate positions in the cluster have reflagged as mercenary and are apparently operating individually. They still retain confederate sympathies as attested by the targetting of falconian shipping by MRC Nemesis in New Sussex.

The Falconian Republic has donated a quantity of its seismic dampening pylons to the Felini authorities on the Planet Squamata in Skye. Initial reports on their deployment suggests tectonic levels will fall.


*** GCE Press Release ***

****** GARCIA ENTERPRISES PRESS STATEMENT ******

Garcia Enterprises are pleased to announce the takeover of facilities and assets belonging to the League of Extraordinary Explorers (LEE).

Any questions regarding this takeover should be directed in the first instance to Mr Garcia, except for holdings in the Halo periphery, which should be directed to Mr Phillips.

There are a number of Prisoners within these facilities and repatriation of these will be taking place within the next few weeks.

****** GARCIA ENTERPRISES PRESS STATEMENT ******



***** Periphery Classifieds ******


*** Falencia ***

I would like to draw your attention to stockpiles of goods that have been added to the sell market at Falencia
150000mu of Falconian woodcrafts - a 0.1 value non perishable trade good being offered at a mere 11x its base value. Sell at GTT Lazarus for a large percentage profit.
30000mu of the highly sought after Falconian Wool offered at 12x its base value
75000mu of Greater Ground Bird - an 0.2 value perishable trade good offered at 11x its base value.
And now for some more unusual items for your delectation.
19000mu of Protonite - A 1.0 value trade good from Acropolis offered at 12x its value
50000mu of Wimblegoats a 0.1 value life item direct from the Wimble homeworld in Transpiral and offered at 15x its base value. Profitably sells at MOH FRE DOM Whocares Tranquility gate

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.42  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.42.5

***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** TCA Update ***

Kang has but little news on the TCA this week, as it appears they continue to orbit a gas giant somewhere in the Inner Empire.

Kang understands something odd is going on there, but nobody wishes to comment to the press on exactly what. Perhaps they are simply establishing a crèche world? But Kang finds this odd given how often TCA crèche sites have been nuked by various members of the so-called ‘Empire’ of worthless humanity.

There are however reports that the TCA vessel ‘LiQuan In At The Deep End’ has been performing particularly erratically.

This should come as a surprise to precisely no-one.


*** TCA Update 2 ***

The matted and vile-smelling Dewiek have this week reported their status as worthless meatsacks.

But they’ve also destroyed two TCA vessels somewhere in the Transpiral Periphery, bring their total of TCA Meatsacks destroyed to quite a large number that Kang cannot be bothered remembering at this time.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW! COUNT YOURSELF!

You vile human wretches have more than sufficient fingers and toes to handle basic arithmetic. Well, assuming Kang hasn’t had much alone time with you yet. SNIP SNIP! As Kang likes to say.


*** Mohache Collapse ***

Victorious Dominion troops are understood to have cemented their hold over the vanquished Mohache, with only a few free Mohache having fled to the outer reaches of their previously Periphery-spanning empire.

Kang understands the Mohachie Independent Commune might be about to start up, taking what small handful of non-DOM held assets are left.


*** Confederacy Collapse ***

The cowardly Flagritz Whipping Boys throughout the Cluster Periphery are rumoured to be turning to Mercenary flags as Kang understands the CNF have stopped paying anybody wages.

Could this be the end of the Confederacy?


*** Kang Does Not Understand What They Are Teaching Meatsacks These Days ***


>TU 76: Train Officer {#1} {11}
Error - Insufficient skill points to train new skill lvl.
Total TU cost for this action is 10

Sam Brown (#1) gained experience.


*** Pirate Large ***

The worthless meatsack known as ‘Pirate Large’ has captured two COD vessels. Kang does not know how much of a fight was put up, but Kang’s suspects the COD of being weak and febrile meatsacks who are incapable of putting up much of a fight.

Which is also roughly how Kang thinks of the forces of Pirate Meatsack.

Kang imagines the boarding battle was most amusing to watch, and involved a lot of slapping and hair-pulling.


*** Falconian News ***

Falconian forces remain on alert for TCA forces near the Caribbean wormhole. The group previously engaged by our forces remain in orbit of the gas giant in the Sparta system. Information from one of our assets suggests they are forming a creche site within the gas giant to grow more TCA vessels.
The inhabitants of the Caribbean system have welcomed falconian patrols and many mercenary positions within the system have indicated their support for the continued presence of our forces.

Further reports on the seismic pylons supplied to the world of Squamata in Skye indicate that this falconian technology has been a great success.


*** More Pirates ***

Upwards of 600 pirates supported by 150 warbots have stormed an AFT freighter that was lingering in ring 10 of the Acropolis system – also known as the Pirates Please Board Me Here Zone.

Kang celebrates the death of idiotic meatsacks. AND SO SHOULD YOU!


*** Breaking News ***

Kang hates you all.


*** Pirates Destroyed ***

Two small pirate vessels have been destroyed by the Tedious DTR in the Venice system this week.

Both the ‘Eyes of The Dewiek’ and the ‘Eyes Of The Hexamon’ were annihilated by defensive platforms, curiously named pirate ships, perhaps intended to try and make the tedious DTR assume aliens might be behind the pirate activity?

Kang suspects this is unlikely to work, as Kang suspects the DTR already have a prime suspect when it comes to acts of piracy.

Kang has nothing more to say on the matter as Kang is going to have a little nap now.



***** Periphery Classifieds From Worthless Meatsacks Who Wish To Sell You Things *****


*** Vile Den Of Meatsackery Opened ***

Hello everyone!

Coptuv Rest Stop (74042) will have its grand opening tomorrow. It is located in orbit of Athist in the Coptuv system, right in the middle of the Corewards Arm.

Feel free to dock there for all your recreation, repair and maintenance needs. Of course, we also offer officer training for those in need.

Patch price will be $75. There will be a small market of spare parts for sale as well as crew available to hire for those who have had unpleasant encounters with the Coreward asteroid belts.

I do take requests if you have needs that are not met by the current offerings.

Wylde


*** Useless Modules For Useless Bases ***

Greeting All Traders

DEN Al-Pumi (96981) will being reducing its selling price of Structural modules to $20 each from Monday.
2000 will be on the market which will be increased by 100 every thursday.
Sequence your turns with the base to take advantage of this great offer, by far the cheapest around.

As the base is in Quad D11 in system travel times are reduce.


*** Hands Off! Vile Meatsacks! ***

Good afternoon,

Please be advised that Booker steaks, guilders and Hannahannas relics are immediately being removed from the Port Nausicaa market as part of the rationalisation of GCE assets in the Deva system.

A reduced number (10000) of each of the 3 items will be added to the market at GCE Aquarium at the same price as they are currently being purchased.

There will be many items added to the Port Nausicaa market for sale later this week.


***** Read Or Die! Or Just Die Already! With Meatsack Wendy *****


The Last of Us: American Dreams by Neil Druckmann

Genre: Post-Apocalyptic, Zombies, Survivalist Adventure, Gaming
Publisher: DarkHorse Comics
Date of Publication: July 2013

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Nineteen years ago, a parasitic fungal outbreak killed or infected almost everyone. Those that remain are sequestered within military-run quarantine zones. Not everyone is pleased with the arrangements, and various groups have arisen with their own plans for survival.

Among them are the rebel group known as the Fireflies, led by Marlene, whom players of the game this graphic novel is based on should recognize. Players will also recognize Ellie, one of the main characters of the game. Here, she is 13 years old and unhappy in the orphanage. She meets fellow inmate Riley, who has dreams of joining the Fireflies. Ellie reluctantly joins her in tracking them down, a process which involves a few misadventures and dangers for the young teens.

When they do meet Marlene and the Fireflies, it is, unsurprisingly, not what they expected. Moreover, Marlene knows much about Ellie from her mother, adding a bit of mystery to an otherwise fairly straightforward story.

I considered whether the fact that I have not yet played the game would negatively impact my appreciation for this, but, as a prequel, I felt it ought to be able to stand on its own and entice me to get off my guns and go buy it. Having read other game tie-in books and comics, I don't feel there was enough meat in this one.

The art was very gritty, despite its childlike appearance. I'm a fan of anime and manga, so I'm not at all opposed to the large-eyed style that lends itself well to younger characters. It still strongly conveys the necessary emotion.


Great art, but a rather straightforward story without enough meat to be as powerful a tie-in to the game as it should be.

3 tentacles out of 5.

bibliosanctum.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/graphic-novel-review-last-of-us.html

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.43  [Recruit]

No issue this week.

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.44  [Recruit]

No issue this week.

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.45  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


 
News
Is open for business...
 
******Empire Syndicated News Network (ESNN) ******

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Welcome to the latest version of ESNN, giving the news and views from the ESNN's reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, making this the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe from our new home in the Heartland,

And so with the news from the last few weeks,
 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
  • DEN assault FEL base and get wiped out
  • CIA Trade fleet caught and destroyed by the DEN
  • Krell denounce worship of the True One

  •  
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Huge fleet skirmish at the London/Crossley wormhole

    A large fleet of over 700 DEN warships responded to the EMP action in Crossley, where a 4000 hull DEN platform was destroyed. Reports show the DEN ships caught a group of CIA ships napping and inflicted significant losses on the humans. IMP and GTT fleets moved to assist the CIA, matching DEN fleet numbers, but the arrival of over 1200 Hexamon ships seems to have tipped the battle in favour of the DEN-HEX alliance.

    The combined DEN-HEX force pushed through the wormhole into the Heartland area of human space and retaliated, attacking several CIA platforms in response. The outnumbered Empire fleets abandoned the area and fled, they are currently waiting for the larger alien force to make their next move from their hiding places.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Admiral Lord Simms killed after a long and distinguished service to the Empire.

    The Imperial Services have intercepted and serious damaged several DEN ships on the way to the Empire’s home systems. Unfortunately during the action Admiral Lord Simms was injured and reports from the Viceroy indicate he has passed away, fighting the enemies of the Empire like any true Imperial Officer.

    The Viceroy has stated that the officers and crew of the DEN ships have been captured and are now awaiting trial at a secret IMP base.

    DEN continue to strike at the Empire

    Reports are coming in of multiple engagements between the Empire and the Dewiek Elder Nation over the last week. With several battles taking out Empire ships in the Heartland of the CIA.

    AFT turn to piracy

    The Association of Free Traders have, after a long history of neutrality, turned to piracy this week. AFT Drake boarded an IND ship in the Halo periphery, killing several of the crew in the process.
    Independent trader Jarlebanke Langhofdi immediately took to the public communication channel demanding an answer to why supposedly peaceful traders had killed his crew and taken his ship.

    The AFT remain silent over the attack.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Combat Special Edition

    Since the DEN started shooting at those lovable FEL fluffballs things have certainly been heating up. So we through it would be prudent to bring you, gentle beings of the peripheries, a special edition in order to keep you updated with all the latest action in regards to who the DEN are shooting and who is shooting them.

    Felini strike back at Dewiek

    Reports have come in of the FEL striking back at the DEN in the Kallisan system. A huge FEL force supported by the IMP and CIA assaulted DEN positions taking both the platform and base called Lucien. There was much rejoicing in the FEL camp as the Felini proved they were not such lovable fluffballs after all!

    GTT get sucked into the war

    A passing fleet of GTT warships got caught in the fighting and this saw the GTT enter the war. When asked about this CEO Fox pointed out they are not warships at all, they are trade defence ships. So how they came to be in the DEN system of Kallisan is a mystery to us. But the GTT CEO was clear that they only engaged using support and defend orders to protect allies. Needless to say, the CEO commented “We found ourselves on the Dewiek Nation’s enemy lists pretty soon after.”

    Dewiek Nation attacks GTT positions in Orion Spur, breaking DOM system rules

    A fleet of DEN warships has engaged and destroyed a significant number of GTT cargo ships and escorts in the DOM system Monument. The GTT immediately took to the public channels to ask why the DOM were not doing something. In reply the DOM issued a statement to stop, which the DEN ignored.

    The DEN newssheet "The HOWL" published a completely unbiased review of the attack shortly after.

    DOM make a choice

    After the above incident and then further raiding by the DEN, taking out a few GTT cargo ships in the DOM system of Coptuv, the DOM seemed to have been faced with a choice of stopping drinking their tea and doing something or just hoping it would go away. Instead they seem to have decided to abandon the whole idea of being an active affiliation and we have since folded. The lengths some people will go to not to have their elevenses disturbed is truly staggering. We asked the DOM for a statement on their new system rules to share with our readers but have received no replies.

    DOM positions share out

    Just as we were going to press news has come in of various DOM assets being given to other affiliations or sold. Hopefully we will have more on this story in the next issue of your favorite factual newsheet. Yes, that's us at the SSS.

    *** Affiliations ***


    AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
    CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
    DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
    DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
    DEN Dewiek Elder Nation (67) - Urd
    DOM Dominion (57) – we believe the DOM are now inactive
    FCN Falconian Republic (70) - Bacran
    FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Juris
    FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
    FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
    GRC Gracians (13) - HG1
    GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
    GCE Garcia Enterprises (4) - Neil
    HEX Hexamon (23) - Ando
    IMP Imperial Services (51) - Jack Jones
    KRL Krell (30) - Namica
    KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Kal Torak
    KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
    MZC Mizuchi Combine (86) - Mizuchi
    MOH Mohache (73) - Listens
    MIC Mohache Independent Commune (76) - Sleeps with Dragons
    NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
    RIP Regularly Involved in Piracy - Githyanki
    RRH Roy Robert Holdings (39) - Roy Roberts
    SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
    USN Ulian Stellar Nation (34) - Oeipus Prime
    WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz

    * Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
    ** Affiliation has no leader but this is the only known contact

    NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS

    Inactive: ANT, BHD, COD, HVE, IDC, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG

    Deceased: CAL

    *** Submission ***

    By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    New pirate threat rocks Corward Arm.

    Several large pirate ships have been spotted in outer rings of Corward systems. Reports forwarded to us at the SSS allow us to exclusively tell readers that traders should keep their wits about them when moving through these areas.

    No existing pirate menace has yet claimed ownership.

    In a possibly unrelated event one of the FET cartel members claimed nothing was happening in the outer ring of Coptov shortly afterwards. But it could be that they are still trying to catch Empire backed pirates and have nothing to do with the new sightings.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****


    DEN continue to shoot innocents

    The Dewiek have made themselves busy shooting at the peaceful and innocent traders of the SSL. Leader of Solar Spices and Liquors Mr TOAD has been vocal pointing out that the Beast-DEN are being totally unfair. News of a go-fund-me appeal are yet to surface though.

    This office is sure that it must have provided the DEN light relief after picking on the equally defenceless Felini. Word is that the DEN faced such an uphill struggle in these recent actions they had to take up Felini inter-breeding to provide some entertainment as the battle reports were rather boring.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Return of the LiQuans

    A close associate of the Baron LiQuan has been haunting the Corewards periphery and like the old Baron it is said he has a meklan connection. It's unclear whether he obtained his meklan nanites via the CIA but there are rumours that the DEN may be helping the Liquan relative in a bid to sow discontent in the Stellar Empire. Exactly why they would start in Corewards is unclear although with DEN allies, the DOM, having strong positions both in the Sol system and the old Harcorp systems of Harlong and Coptuv they may be the linking factor.


     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Meklan Unleashed on Mobile Bay

    Mad Dewiek scientist Dr Kala released a number of Meklan on the busy world of Mobile Bay in the Yank system. Thousands of civilians have been killed in what is treated by DEN warlords as an amusing practical joke. Rather than take any responsibility for their affiliation’s reckless behaviour, a DEN lord rumoured to be half-meklan himself quipped he would nuke the planet whilst another merely saw it as an opportunity to test some of his greener troops in combat. Surprisingly, the KAS planetary defence force was up to the job of repelling the insidious incursion. Questions remain whether further meklan are stored elsewhere on the planet and whether anybody will challenge the Dewiek’s lack of care for the lives of innocents. Probably not, given how even the mighty IMP are now cowering from a fight with the DEN (see inside this edition).


     

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    Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).
    -Zigic