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SubSpace Static Archive
214
Previous Years
Intergalactic News
Issue 33
Issue 32
The Dewiek Special
Issue 31
Issue 30
Older Issues
 
213.26 - 213.30

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.26  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


Subspace Static - Star Date 213.27  [Recruit]



Subspace Static - Star Date 213.27.5

***** Inter Overlord Kang News *****

*** Message From The Editor ***

Overlord Kang has been faced with many interesting questions this week. Questions like:

‘Kang, why is your tentacle crushing my chest?’

‘Kang, do you know I can’t work so hard when you’re driving a tank over my children?’

And perhaps MOST IMPORTANTLY:

‘Kang, why is this weeks edition of THE NEWS late?’

Well, Kang has many useful answers for all of these questions, but Kang is too poorly to address them at this time. PITY NOT OVERLORD KANG AND HIS ILLNESS! Pity instead Kang’s worthless mucus slaves whose job it is to attend Kang’s needs when ill.

AND YOU DARE ASK WHY THIS WEEKS EDITION IS LATE?

Kang will explain this to you after all. Kang only considers the news worth reporting when a certain number of meatsacks have been killed in a week, and this week THERE HAVE BEEN AN INSUFFICIENT NUMBER OF MEATSACKS KILLED!

The fault is your own, KILL MORE MEATSACKS – GET MORE NEWS!

This is Kang’s new slogan. It should be yours too.


*** Teeming Hordes Threatened With Annihilation ***

Kang has heard that the planet ‘Earth’ known only as the birthplace of the fleshy meatsack race known as ‘humanity’ was almost the scene of a glorious slaughter this week, when the Confederacy – still Kang’s favourite ‘human’ affiliation thanks to their anti-matter blasting of civilians – sought to annihilate yet more civilians by opening up with their 5600 hulled defensive platform against the tedious DTR Starbase located on the planet below.

Tragically the tedious DTR appear to have over-invested in heavy shielding for their base, and only minimal damage was inflicted, with the grand total of two civilian casualties.

Kang is humiliated on your behalf, wretched Confederacy, for your embaressing failure to inflict any more casualties than that. BE WARY WRETCHED CONFEDERACY! FOR IF YOU DO NOT KILL MORE CIVILIANS, YOU WILL NO LONGER BE KANG’S FAVOURITE ‘HUMAN’ AFFILIATION!

Kang knows this worry will keep you up late at night.

Kang understands the civilian meatsacks on the planet below are concerned at the thought of being brutally annihilated by anti-matter warheads crashing down on their pathetic domiciles. Kang offers them bountiful employment in the Flagritz Empire instead.

Kang is amused that an Imperial vessel was responsible for all this mess in the first place by entering orbit with active enemy lists. Kang is more amused at how it was instantly vaporised by tedious defensive DTR fire.


*** Empire Of The Race Marches Forth With Tentacles High ***

Kang is sometimes asked if his editorial content is slanted in favour of his own race, the glorious and superior Flagritzi. Once Kang has finished executing those who dare question him, Kang is happy to explain that Kang is an equal opportunities hater, and Kang does not particularly like most of his fellow Flagritz all that much either. This is natural, Flagritz society would simply cease to function if we liked each other much. Why, just last week Kang was brutally torturing a Flagritz from the merchant caste that failed to show proper deference to Kang’s status as Overlord.

Kang digresses.

Kang is proud to announce that glorious warriors of the superior Flagritz race have engaged the wretched Confederacy in battle this week, in response to wretched Confederacy aggression.

Forces from the glorious Empire of the Race entered orbit of a CNF held planet in the Zewt system, and engaged ships within the orbit, a wretched CNF Platform and the similarly wretched CNF outpost where many meatsacks were understood to be wallowing in their own disgusting filth. Within a few days all ships and the Platform were destroyed and with the outpost shields failing the cowardly and wrong-headed BHD base entered the Combat in support of their cowardly meatsack neighbours.

Kang knows they are wrong-headed, as every time Kang twists one of their heads off, it comes off wrong.

The forces of the Imperium were given orders to return fire against the so-called Brotherhood, and brutal slaughter was enjoyed by many, as many many splendid days of orbital bombardment commenced against the Brotherhood Starbase Incendium, and wretched CNF outpost Angel’s Rest.

Kang enjoys a good one-sided orbital bombardment. And Kang only regrets that the glorious FLZ railgun ships failed to bring along sufficient ammunition, so were forced to withdraw, firing off one final volley that included those foolish Flagritz responsible for ammunition requisition.

FAILURE TO BRING ALONG SUFFICIENT AMMO IS NOT TOLERATED AMONGST THE FLAGRITZ RACE!


*** Brutal Meatsack Killed By Less Brutal Meatsacks ***

The Kastorian terrorist known as Kanji has reportedly been apprehended and killed this week.

Kang understands the FET are desperate to get their hands on Kanji’s cold dead body.

KANG ASKS YOU THIS: ARE THE FET THAT INTO DEAD BODIES? KANG IS DISGUSTED BY YOU! THE BODIES OF YOUR ENEMIES SHOULD BE EATEN FRESH, JUST MOMENTS AFTER YOU KILL THEM! WHILE THEY ARE STILL WARM!

Barbarians. Kang is surrounded by barbarians.

And no, vile FET, you cannot ‘microwave’ him.

Do you even have a microwave large enough to fit an entire meatsack inside?

Kang does. AND KANG HAD TO HAVE IT SPECIALLY BUILT!

Kang enjoys microwaving meatsacks while they are still alive.


*** Insignificant Meatsacks Achieve Insignificance ***

The tedious DTR have destroyed a vile Confederate facility that was lurking in their home system of Venice today. Was the vile Confederate facility an outpost? Was it a platform? Or was it a small child’s dollhouse?

KANG CARES NOT!


***** Overlord Kang’s Column Of Agony *****


Dear Kang,

Why yo mama so fat?

Yrs,
Anon.



Meatsack Anon,

Yo mama so fat the Hexamon mistook her for a moon and blew her up.

BEHOLD! OVERLORD KANG HAS DELIVERED WHAT YOU PUNY EARTHLINGS CALL A BURN!

Signed with broken nuke,

KANG!



***** Frontier Express Times Vol. Two *****

An occasional publication published occasionally
"All the news that's fit to print! (Or maybe not!)"


High Society
by Rita Skeeter

Surprise of Surprises! Whom do you think was observed doing the town last night?!

None other then that AFT heartbreaker, the simply magnificent Miss Mona Luvvsit; she was escorted by the dashing Pahl Kantner, Oyabun of the FET cartel. Miss Mona looked positively resplendent in a sinfully low-cut, empire-waist red evening gown of the finest Hive Silk, paired with a luxurious Brocker Fur stole. Kantner too cut quite the figure in his Old Earth-style Prussian Blue uniform, complete with a gold & platinum chased dueling saber, and knee-high leather jackboots.

They were first seen early in the evening at Free Coalition’s finest establishment, the everso posh Chez Zee-eN. There they dined on Eridani Lobster and Booker Steaks ala Antoine accompanied by bottles (and bottles) of Paradise & Harper’s Fern Wines; followed by a desert tray of Old Earth Fruits & Albourne Cheese.

From there the two spent the night flitting to & from the finest clubs in Free Coalition, Astris, & Centrepoint City, dancing the night away. Afterward they yachted over to Spritzer where they were last seen quietly slipping into Miss Mona’s private suite over the Jiggly Room. (Oh, to have been a mosquito on that wall?!)

That’s all for now, my lovelies!

This is Rita signing off! Till next time -- Stay Shiney!


This news item has been brought to you by the fine people of the Naughty Nuns! Nuevo San Francisco's bestest Bar & Brothel.
"Naughty Nuns! -- Where the Sacrilegious can be Heavenly Fun!!"

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.28  [Recruit]




***** Inter! Super! Galactic! Soaraway! News! *****


*** Overlord On Holidays! Minions Rejoice! ***

Unpleasant and decidedly alien thug Overlord Kang has departed for holidays for a week, due to an over-infection of rage brought on by having to deal with mindless reporters, clearing the way for another edition of the Galaxies most popular redtop daily, the Stunning Super Soaraway Sub Space Static, or SSSSSS! Bringing you more news! More celebrities! More pointless rumour-mongering! More gratuitious nudity! And more hatred of things that are different than you can shake a stick at!

It weren’t like this when I were a lad! Everything were better!

AND THAT’S OFFICIAL!


*** Whoops – That’s My Platform ***

The careless bible thumping anti-fun brigade known as the ‘Brotherhood’ are understood to have lost the platform Rogue Affair to disgusting alien activity this week!


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Dewiek forces reported the annihilation of the platform, with no loss amongst their own. The Super Soaraway Subspace Static suspects immigrants must be behind this somehow!


*** Anti-Matter Panic! ***

According to recently published and completely scientifically accurate evidence, Anti-matter is now known to CAUSE CANCER!

As well as horrible explodey death.

Which is worse though readers? Cancer, or horrible explodey death? YOU DECIDE! VOTE NOW!*

*votes cost 3 standard stellars plus your regular network rate.


*** Who died? Not me guv’nor! ***

Rumours were circulating this week that the glorious emperor of Humanity, Lysander, was killed during an unfortunate hunting accident!

It turned out what really happened was Emperor Lysander (True One bless His name) actually shot and killed a hunting assistant, but it was an untitled commoner, so no great loss!

Hats off, your royal emperorship, and happy shooting!


*** Aliens: Officially Useless! ***


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*** Sneaky Pirates On The Game? ***

Adverts have gone up around known space as those cheeky pirate types the RIP appear to be back in business and looking to lay their hands on some employees!

Employment agencies are reported to be inundated with calls from unemployed slackers too afraid to take the RIP up on this fantastic employment opportunity on the basis that it might somehow involve piracy or slavery!

Get off your bikes! Shirtless layabouts! Any job is a good job!


*** Ancient Alien Scourge? Not In This Galaxy Matey! ***

Dewiek forces are reporting the destruction of yet another TCA vessel this week, the TCA Confounded and Culpable!

There’s no stopping the rampaging Dewiek as they continue to make a farce of the so-called ‘feared’ ancient alien race, leading many to conclude that the TCA simply don’t like it up ‘em!


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*** SSS Type Setters On Strike! ***

The department of the sub-space static in charge of exclamation marks have gone on strike this week as new editorial directions have resulted in a 8279% increase in exclamation marks! A specialist team has been brought in to pick up the slack, slack which in this case is unquestionably the fault of filthy foreigners!


*** Confederacy Torn Asunder! ***

Shocking news this week as reports seem to indicate the Brotherhood have left the formal alliance of the Confed-bloc in which they have been a part for longer than this reporter can remember! Quite what this means is yet to be uncovered, are the BHD unhappy with the direction the Empire of Humanity has been taking? Have pressures from the Dewiek forced them into neutrality to try and protect their assets? Or have they come into possession of some deep spiritual knowledge that is leading them off down a new path?

These are all questions too deep and complex for the SSSSSS! So let’s all talk about celebrities instead!


*** Treasure Winters ***

Beloved darling of the Detinus Republic, songstress Treasure Winters, has done absolutely nothing worthy of being in the news this week, so we dispatched photographers to stalk her on holiday! Stay tuned for hot bikini pictures!


*** Valhalla ***

The system of Valhalla is reporting an increase in pirate activity, with a number of small PIR scouts being destroyed. We have exclusively learnt that these pirate scouts were built by immigrant labour and were most likely FOREIGN to boot! No wonder they fell apart so easily!


*** Brotherhood Scientists Refute Gravity With New Intelligent Dropping Theory ***

Reacting angrily to recent reports that science has finally destroyed God, the Brotherhood have gone on a charm offensive this week, with a whole barrage of new theories that put The True One right back at the center of the Peripheries.

One Brotherhood spokesman explained how the great mystery of a Grand Unified Theory could finally be explained in simple terms understandable by even the most backwards of Confederate supporters: ‘It’s The True One, Dummy’. Along with advanced wormwhole theory: It’s The True One, Dummy’. And of course not forgetting Quantum Entanglement: ‘It’s The True One, Dummy’.


*** Super Soaraway Summer Sunshine Fun ***


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That is all.


*** Alien News From The Flagritz ***

The Mind of the HEX asked for Support from the Empire of the Race after an attack on the Hive base within Halo. A number of ships destroyed some CNF targets but them the main CNF fleet was seen and locked in combat

While Empire of the Race can report that the Battle is not yet over no Imperial ships have been destroyed

CNF No Opinion (9090) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 61.2
Hull Damage: 68.0%
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris

CNF Only Young (18740) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 24.1
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!

CNF Epiphany (53165) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 31.5
Hull Damage: 100.0%
BLOWN UP!

CNF If You Came Back To Me (80831) - Ship
Arbalest Fighter Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 45.8
Hull Damage: 100.0%
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris

CNF Don't Let It Be Love (81550) - Ship
Howitzer Class Heavy Cruiser {Medium Ablative Armour}
Armour: 50.5
Hull Damage: 100.0%
INTEGRITY BREAKDOWN - Ship reduced to debris

Imperial Scout forces this week forced a route to the FLZ base within the Cluster system. It entered orbit to find a large force of BHD/CNF warships waiting. The Scout fleet locked the larger force in combat and forced the BHD/CNF fleet to flee.

The Empire does wonder if they did not like odds of over 7 to 1 what odds would the BHD/CNF like



***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** Fish For Sale ***

A recent upgrade to the Ulian home-world sea fish processing facilities (the recent fashion for antimatter gave up the oportunity to re-equip the Tytian harvester fleet surface to subsurface missiles with 'high yield' conventional warheads,) there is a large build-up of Tytian Fish at our distribution point, 'Bondly Warehouse', in the Yank system, in the Outer Ulian Periphery.

There are various reasons for buying this quality merchandise: It has a higher base price than the rubbishy worm-infested 'booker steaks' that seem so popular. We have it on good authority that not only do they not even wash whatever goes to produce 'steaks', much of it would not even qualify as 'cattle'. Honestly, I had some once that I'm sure had a piece of mandible in it.

It is untouched by human hands. This seems to be a selling point, and we can understand why. Horrible, whiney creatures.

It has been irradiated at totally safe-for-consumption levels, for healthy eating and a longer shelf-life. For your reassurance this irradiation was carried out on the entire ocean, several major land masses and urban centres, and a couple of suspicious looking orbital bodies. Any reputable physicist will tell you, more than ten half-lives is completely safe.

In relation to the self-declared 'trade' affiliations: Not purchasing stocks of this valued trade commodity will be valid grounds for war. We've had some captured lawyers interrogated over the matter, and after 'due process' >; they are unanimous in their view that this legal stance is at least as valid as anything the GTT ever came up with, and anyway, if we cant outfight the Mohache we might as well commit racial suicide.

So, buy the stuff. I have to shift another 10K MU's after mid week.

Mok, USN



***** The Funnies *****

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Subspace Static - Star Date 213.29  [Recruit]




***** Inter Kang Galactic Sub Space Pain Filled Torture Static *****


*** Treasure Hunted ***

Overlord Kang has heard that the so-called Mohache treasure ‘hunt’ has claimed it’s first victims this week, as some funny chumster has been planting false prize caches containing biological weapons primed to go off in their faces when opened.

Given the terrorist Kanji is dead, and his corpse might or might not be still in the clutches of creepy-corpse-fondlers the FET, Kang is bereft of his usual suspect for these sorts of cheerful atrocities. So Kang will dig deep into his Bucket Of Blame and point his tentacle of accusation at…

THE WIMBLES!


*** Cluster News ***

Kang understands there may have been more altercations in the Cluster Periphery, but sadly Kang has no more details to report on than this. Kang offers no apologies to you, meatsack.


*** Royal Baby? ***

The Empire Of Humanity is reportedly ‘excited’ this week as there are unconfirmed rumours that Emperor Lysander may be about to have an heir, and the Empress may be, what is it you meatsacks get when you replicate? Pregnored? Kang cares not for your feeble bag of meat reproduction, nor your mewling younglings. Kang is certain of one thing though, THE NEW BOSS WILL BE JUST LIKE THE OLD BOSS!


*** Reporters Jettisoned From Airlock ***

There are a raft of openings at the SSS Headquarters this week, as Overlord Kang has had to fire a number of staff members for their failure to procure much NEWS for you this week.

Kang responds angrily to rumours that he killed the reporters and threw them out the nearest airlock. Kang assures you they were all alive and kicking when Kang cycled the doors and jettisoned their worthless carcasses.


***** Periphery Classifieds *****


*** Ships For Sale ***

The pitiful meatsacks known to Kang only as PITIFUL MEATSACKS but known to others as the Mohache, are selling PITIFUL SHIPS. You should contact them. And then contact Kang. And Kang will stab you in the face with his TABLE!

It is like being stabbed in the face by any standard pointed object, only with EXTRA BLUDGEONING!


*** Market News ***

The disease-ridden market of Tranquility Gate has, Kang understands, a plethora of useless new junk for sale. Kang has conducted a survey, and Kang finds it impossible to murder innocents with ‘EMF Dampening’. Kang suggests the Starbase governor should get his act together.


*** Trading Company Re-Opened ***

Kang understands that the worthless meatsack known as ‘Gaijin’ has re-opened his pathetic trading company in the hope that Kang will not come round to his place and beat him to death with some EMF Dampening.

KANG WILL NOT BE DISTRACTED FROM HIS GOAL!

Kang has lost his pencil.

Traders. Pah. Kang hates the lot of you.


*** More Market News ***

Kourdda Gentlebeings,

I am DISGUSTED to announce that Foundation (92099) on Keaop in the Harlong (240) system now offers full maintenance and recreation AND GHASTLY MURDER services. It is an ideal PAIN FILLED location to repair your ship and offer some relaxation AND STABBING to your crew whilst dealing with civilian VICTIM traders.

We have thousands of patches in stock at a very reasonable $50 patch price at our maintenance facilities! Everyone is welcome to dock AND BECOME SLAVES and make use of our facilities.

Bring trade goods and sell at the competitive market. Got something we are not buying there already? STAB YOURSELF IN THE FACE WITH IT, hen deliver a sample and it will be on the market shortly thereafter! BUT YOU WILL BE DEAD SO YOU WON’T CARE And don't go home empty handed, take some of the fine Keaop Lumber with you at an affordable $1.2/mu (a very reasonable x12 source value!) LUMBER IS GOOD FOR MAKING STABBING IMPLIMENTS!

As of tomorrow. we will also be putting in place a defensive platform with everyone on defend. AND ENEMY! YOU WILL ALL DIE! Admittedly only friends of the Mohache will really benefit from this but its pretty easy to be friends as we are desirous of friendship with everyone (pretty much). THE FLAGRITZ ARE ALSO FRIENDLY WITH EVERYBODY! ONCE YOU HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED!

One word of caution: Harlong has dangerous asteroid belts in rings 14 and 15 so please avoid these (perhaps turn on your navigational hazard avoidance programme).

Happy travels AND MAY YOU ALL DIE IN HORRIBLE FIREY DEATH! :)

Scribbles (NOT EDITED BY KANG AT ALL!)



***** From The Blog Of Meatsack Void *****


Careful to express a caring look, and maintaining a warm tone the Investigating Officer asked "So...Miss Sanders...I want you to take your time and describe to me what happened"

"Well Sir, they were there when I returned from work, they said they had my Lysander and Vega, and then showed me a holoclip of them – forced'em to say hello they did. They said I'd not see my children again if I didn't do what I was told. That's when they...they...cut off my finger, and put that...that thing on instead. They told me to go work as normal, told me which cabinet to access, and knew exactly where the data pad would be. Told me to access the data pad and to then run the....finger...over across it...." Tears and a look of panic "Oh True One bless me - I don't think I'm insured for biogenetic surgery" More tears "...when will I see my children again?!"

"Miss Sanders....may I call you Dotty? Yes? Hmmm well I can reassure you that Lysander and Vega are fine, though after such a.....torrid...experience they are receiving the utmost care. Given the operation these terrorists appear to have performed on yourself we feel duty bound to ensure they are given a full medical check-up – at the cost of the agency of course. They will be asked a few questions, but we have specialist people trained with children. As for your finger, rest assured, the agency looks after its staff....Now you said 'they' - how many were there, and could you describe them?"

Tears of relief. "Two sir, both human, both wore black suits....much like any man in the business quarter. They had off-world accents, but sorry to say I couldn't place them. Both were about your height, though one was a bit taller. One had blue eyes – he smiled a lot, and did most of the talking – seemed to laugh at his own jokes a lot. The other one did the operation, he didn't really say too much but he had green eyes that kind of stared through me"

Some time late the Investigating Officer left the room and convened with the Observer.

"You think she's telling the truth?" The Observer asked

"Almost definitely. Still...not worth taking the risk – this is a serious breach of security. Granted she was under duress, but if everyone put their own interests ahead of the Empires then we will just fast track ourselves towards anarchy. Submit all three for a mindscrape, she should then be sent to penal colony...the boys can go to the Imperial Orphans Cadet Academy.....tell me about the finger"

"From the fragments that were left of the artificial finger on her hand, it seems like a bio-engineered device. The interesting thing is that it looks like there is altered DNA that has been utilised as a memory device. Not quite sure how they've managed to actually extract the data into that memory, but there's obviously some pretty top end stuff going on here."

The Observer continued "From what she's said, when she returned home they removed the finger - apparently on this occasion it was painless. However she recalls being given an injection shortly afterwards, but does recall...."Cold Eyes" as she called him, taking the finger putting it in some device or other. He 'nodded to "Smiler"' who then thanked her for her co-operation, apologised that it had - she quotes him as saying 'not been the nicest of circumstances to meet' and promised she would be reunited her with her children imminently. Blood samples indicate that she was heavily drugged, so it was only when she did not report for work the next day that the alert was raised. She was found in her apartment still unconscious. Luckily for her, it seems that whoever had done the operation on the finger was a pretty decent surgeon"

"....anyhow, initial talks with the children suggest they were taken from the home – their description implies they were teleported directly out. We'd not been able to find any corresponding signatures, but upon an audit, sensor logs show a time discrepancy so we suspect systems were hacked at the point of teleportation. A review is underway, and we've been looking at some third party sensor scans to see if they reveal anything, but it looks like we've got nothing to work from that angle"

The Investigator frowned "They're not going to like this. Seems we've got a few routines we need to work on. Keep me informed of any more developments"

Subspace Static - Star Date 213.30  [Recruit]

No issue this week.


 
News
PayPal.Me/creditKJCaccount
Don't forget to include your account number in the message.
 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***

Solo claim swings back and forth

The situation in Solo appears to be getting even more heated. First the NHS dropped 600,000 troops to contest the system and then the DTR answered with enough troops of their own to trump the NHS claim. The NHS found yet more troops, taking the contesting claim up to 750,000 and once again the DTR answered, bringing Solo back under DTR control. Now the NHS have had a look down the back of the sofa and found yet more troops, taking the contesting claim to a massive 900,000 trained troops. We wait to see if the DTR have an answer to this. We can only guess where all these troops are coming from, but what is clear is that the established affiliations clearly have far larger armies than many thought.
 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***

NHS attempt to claim Solo away from DTR

In a shock move the NHS have contested the Solo claim with a huge garrison of 600,000 trained troops. In a move that nobody saw coming, especially as it was unknown the NHS had such a large force of troops to draw upon, the NHS seem to be provoking a response from the DTR. Currently there has been no word from the DTR in how they are going to deal with this claim jumping, although rumours are that they are pretending the Solo claim doesn't really matter to them and so action is unlikely. However this may be a smokescreen and we may yet see the DTR's powerful fleet cause havoc in the system of Solo, which has for a long time been an important junction and fought over by many different factions.

DNA Chairman TonTon resigns

The following communication has been leaked from the DNA to the GTT's PD.

Greetings CEO Fox.
It regrets me to have to inform to you that the DNA nation state will be renouncing its claim on Aladdin system following a ceremony planet side, shortly.
However, it gives me great pleasure to have to inform you that these ceremonies are being planned by Vladimir Tavikovitch, the South Road Traffic Coordinator. He is also responsible for all DNA and .ore. assets in the Outer Naplian (Capellan) periphery so if there are any further issues, please take it up with him.
For any and all other matters, please forward your request directly to the DNA directorate services at NexusID: DNA people.
The Foreign Ministry objects one last time to your illegal claim jump of Aladdin, but we realise it is time to de-escalate.
Normally i would sign off with Naambta, but doing so would be hypocritical. Let me say good riddance instead.
I hereby resign in protest!

Chairman TonTon,
Foreign Minister, DNA
cc: Directorate Services personnel coordinator - !urgent resignation!


DTR threaten WMB with fines for multiple breaches of DTR Law

Lady Sylvansight of the DTR has issued a fine of 1,000,000 stellars to the Wimbles for multiple breaches of DTR Penal and Territorial Law. This seems a very brave move of the DTR to risk upsetting the huge and warlike WMB when they also have the rival NHS Solo system claim to deal with. No word has been recieved yet that the Wimbles are going to pay, but if the formidable WMB warfleet is seen heading for the DTR home systems we will know what their thought are on the matter. The DTR and WMB fleets going head to head would be a sight to behold.

*** Affiliations ***

AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
BLG Bolg Organisation (22) - Akhenaten
CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
DWK Dewiek Packs (19) - <Unknown>
FCN Falconian Republic (70) – Graspien
FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Kr'Shan
FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
HEX Hexamon (23) - Tranquility
KRL Krell (30) - Namica
KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Cyn
KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
MOH Mohache (73) – Listens
NHS Noble Houses (41) – Roy Roberts
NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz

* Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
** Only known contact, please update us if this is incorrect.

NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
Inactive: ANT, COD, BHD, DEN, DOM, GCE, HVE, IDC, IMP, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG,

*** Submissions ***

By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous.
 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***

DNA and GTT clash over Aladdin system claim while Pirates look on.

The GTT have this week launched an attack on the DNA outpost in Aladdin, in what appears to be little more than a turkey shoot. Around 100,000 GTT Naplian Startroopers attacked the DNA position to remove the rival system claim. Reports indicate the DNA garrison were taken by surprise and lost control of the base in the first few hours of the fighting. The base has since been reflagged from [Free Naplian Capital] Peaceful Protest to [Loyal Naplian Capital] DNA claim Ended so it's fair to say there was a clear message being sent by the GTT. We have been waiting for the DNA leadership to comment but so far they have been unusually silent. No doubt when they have crawled out from under their desks they will have something to say on the matter.

While this attack was going on several pirate ships were also seen in Aladdin, according to the GTT in what may be true or may be a diversion, with reports of a pirate GP and scout being destroyed while a 150HH pirate warship slipped away and escaped from incoming anti-pirate patrols.

Secret meeting of the EEM

A recent communication intercepted by one of our top reporters today made us aware of a meeting of the EEM. This is underway in a top secret location called Black Pool, which sounds suspiciously like the lair of a pirate band. After pulling in many favours, we were able to identify some of the attending members. On the bases that they won't be named we were able to find out some slight information of the subjects to be discussed at the meeting and one thing is for certain, there could be huge impacts to the lives of everybody living in the galaxy. Details to follow. When the shadowy figures of the EEM come together with the top political players in a pirate base the possibilities are endless!


You are never more than 6 systems from a RAT 🐀

A new saying has arisen in the bars and spaceport of starbases throughout the many peripheries; you are never more than 6 systems from a RAT.

It is understood that this saying originated in Yank and spread by trade vessels to peripheries far and wide. Many starbases have heightened their security and added additional sensors and locks to various entry points including foul and grey water outfalls. Beer and drug stocks are undergoing increased proofing to avoid the critters gaining entry and consuming the stockpiles.

Will this present as a new plague of proportions never before seen or is this some simple urban myth being spread for the amusement of some mischievous entity? Who knows, but to be certain... check the shadows.

 
This year we will again be returning to the Briardene Hotel. They were welcoming, the bar didn't run out of beer pre-covid and there was room for quiet chats. Along with Wetherspoons there is the Victoria just down the road (Sam Smiths - last time beer was around 2 shillings per pint and a full round was less than £10).

Mostly drinking beer and talking toot though we have a good few things on the agenda.

Bookings are done directly with the hotel. Book by phone and say that you are with KJC Games

Briardene Hotel
Telephone: +44(0)1253 338300
All staff should be able to deal with the booking but if there are any problems ask for Tracy (manager) as she dealt with all our foibles in previous years.
 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***

Dog days are over

With the fall of the DEN and the implosion of their home territory as the AFT, DTR and GTT moved in, it was unlikely the Dewiek would rise again. The DWP gave the species a little hope with the Dewiek Pocket Periphery kept under lock and key. But news has reached us of the AFT's penetration of this private area of space that's been locked down. With a base and claim in one of the three visible systems it seems that the end of the Dewiek is near. A once noble and aggressive race, determined to make an impact on the galaxy is now little more than a species that lives under the command of others. A sad end to a once powerful species that used to control a significant part of known space.

Pirate activity continues

Yet more reports of pirate activity have been received, one from the WMB, losing a freighter in Solo and another from the FET who reported they had engaged and hit the attacking pirate ship with several weapons before it managed to make off with it's prize. Hopefully the pirate ship took significant damage and will now be out of action for some time. The Corewards periphery seems to have been plagued with pirates recently and many travellers would welcome a break from attacks.


MEK incursion into Corewards

The FET and GTT have mounted a joint venture into Nog-Kesri to tackle a MEK force. It isn't known where they have come from, with the only other MEK ships seen so far being located in the Orion Spur. The lack of a known link between where they have appeared in Corewards and the Orion Spur has caused some concern among planetary populations as who knows where they could turn up next! Fortunately the combined FET/GTT task force dealt the MEK a heavy blow and the threat has been eradicated. But we all know this is unlikely to be the last we hear of the MEK in Corwards and we would encourage ship captains to keep a keen eye on thier sensor screens when travelling near Nog-Kesri.

 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***

  • CIA freighter fights off overwhelming pirate forces

  • Fin Saine media broadcast, What is Hot in the galaxy?!?!

  • MEKlan forces attack in Corewards Arm


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    *** Inter Galactic News ***

    Aladdin faces ongoing DNA/GTT tension

    The tensions between the DNA and GTT in the Coptuv system recently spilled over into the DNA system of Aladdin. A significant party of GTT ground troops has reinforced one of their bases in the system and claimed it, forcing the system claim into turmoil as the DNA finds itself under threat of losing the system. With the DNA chairman asking for help, several affiliations have been seen sending ships to evacuate any in the local population that want to escape the GTT. But so far not a shot has been fired and despite the AFT, FEL and DTR assistance no reisistance to the claim jump has been encountered so far. It remains to be seen if the DNA and it's friends will scatter before this hostile take over or put in a last minute counter claim to thwart GTT intentions.

    Increasing pirate activity

    Recent reports indicate a new surge in pirate attacks with the AFT and GTT reporting ships lost. Knowing how some don't like to advertise losses we wouldn't be surprised if this is the tip of the iceberg. Reports passed to us show the ship PIR Scavenger running ID 43174 and another ship of the same name running ID 68668 have both been in action with successful boarding attempts. It's unknown whether these are seperate ships or the same ship reregistered, but our information suggests that it would be hard for these pirates to cover the space where these attacks happened with just one ship. One thing is for sure, be on your guard as open space is not as safe as it once was.


    GCE ships loitering in deep space

    After the fall of the GCE and a lot of their assets being shared or purchased it was thought that the affiliation was no more. Yet deep space scans indicate that there is still a significant number of GCE warships holding station in deep space between Coptuv and Yank on the transport route into the Corwards Arm. Nobody knows what these ships are up to and why they are still flagged GCE, but our best guess is that are captains either awaiting new orders or owners after the fall of the GCE command structure.


    *** Affiliations ***

    AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
    BLG Bolg Organisation (22) - Akhenaten
    BHD Brotherhood (63) - de Molay
    CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
    DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
    DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
    DWK Dewiek Packs (19) - <Unknown>
    FCN Falconian Republic (70) – Graspien
    FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Kr'Shan
    FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
    FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
    GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
    HEX Hexamon (23) - Tranquility
    KRL Krell (30) - Namica
    KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Cyn
    KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
    MOH Mohache (73) – Listens
    NHS Noble Houses (41) – Roy Roberts
    NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
    SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
    WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz

    * Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
    ** Only known contact, please update us if this is incorrect.

    NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
    Inactive: ANT, COD, DEN, DOM, GCE, HVE, IDC, IMP, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG,

    *** Submissions ***

    By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous.
     
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    *** Inter Galactic News ***

    Tension in the Corewards Arm

    With the DNA obtaining several ex-GCE bases in the Coreward Arm it has found itself in the middle of an asset grab of serious proportions and aggression. Our reporters witnessed several GTT troop carriers heading for the Corewards system as the DNA published information suggesting they were accidental owners of the system and that the assets were to be moved on. As the GTT ships started to arrive the bases were quickly passed to the CIA, thus thwarting the GTT intentions as they were hardly likely to start dropping troops on their allies bases. This shrew move by the DNA seems to have calmed matters in the Coreward arm temporarily, although the shift in relations between the GTT and DNA has taken a negative turn. When asked what their next move might be the GTT refused to comment.

    GCE collapse

    The GCE are no more, save for some scattered light freighters. The affiliation which enjoyed a sharp rise and profiltable relations with many has ceased trading. Rumors point to the GTT buying up GCE assets before stripping the rival corporation of anything of value. Although our reporters at the SSS have been quick to point out that any GCE assets not in GTT systems have been taken over by both the DNA and FET. So it seems many different affiliations were able to profit from this development including a new group called the HSH who appear to have taken over the GCE war fleet. No doubt many in the peripheries will be watching with interest where these ships are used, who the HSH are and how they were able to get thier hands on so many warships so quickly.


    Secudus trials

    In the Cluster Secudus has continued his trials, claiming to root out terrorists working against the Empire. With tends of thousands of beings being sent to the camps or worse. There is no sign of these actions stopping as the NHS clamp down on the locals and bring them under the harsh control of the Empire.


    *** Affiliations ***

    AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
    BLG Bolg Organisation (22) - Akhenaten
    BHD Brotherhood (63) - de Molay
    CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
    DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
    DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
    DWK Dewiek Packs (19) - <Unknown>
    FCN Falconian Republic (70) – <Unknown>
    FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Juris
    FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
    FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
    GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
    HEX Hexamon (23) - Tranquility
    KRL Krell (30) - Namica
    KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Cyn
    KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
    MOH Mohache (73) – Listens
    NHS Noble Houses (41) – Roy Roberts
    NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
    SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
    WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz

    * Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
    ** Only known contact, please update us if this is incorrect.

    NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS
    Inactive: ANT, COD, DEN, DOM, GCE, HVE, IDC, IMP, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG,

    *** Submissions ***

    By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous.
     
    ******Empire Syndicated News Network (ESNN) ******

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    Welcome to the latest version of ESNN, giving the news and views from the ESNN's reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, making this the peripheries' most favourite and most reliable unbiased publication in the known universe from our home in the Heartland,

    And so with the news from the last couple of weeks,


    Cluster War! DNA Gather Fruit
     

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    I’ve played on and off for approximately 10 years, over a 20 year spell. After some interesting debate on the in-game forum, I did wonder what, exactly, has kept drawing me back to the game, when for so many others I’ve generally lost interest after a few months.

    Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).
    -Zigic