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The Agency

The Agency - The Queen's Men

For me the best part of a gaming convention is to try new systems and ones you have maybe dabbled in. The former because buying new game systems when already a fair proportion of home and office shelves bulge with them is no longer an option (especially with a reluctance to part with systems gathering dust on said shelves) the latter because it is always good to see how others run a system you may not be too familiar with and well, it saves reading the rules, dun it.

The nature of convention games is that they are generally run fairly tightly and aimed at a group that are possibly somewhat unknowing of the system, genre or even roleplaying in general. This makes them absolutely perfect after sloshing your way down to Birmingham on a Friday armed with little more than a train ticket, bundle of clothes, toothbrush and your bodyweight in cans of Carling and Fosters (and a recently cleared credit card begging to be loaded up).


So with this in mind we booked The Queen's Men, set in the 'universe' of The Agency.

The Agency is a roleplaying game where players take on the roles of sixties style secret agents fighting the supernatural, so long hair, velvet suites, frilly cuffs and walking canes all round.

With our usual level of pre-game recon we were both hung-over (this being the Saturday) and blissfully oblivious to even the vaguer points of either genre or system. Suffice to say, somebody red 60's spies and that was good enough.

Armed with beer and staring at the GM who probably regretted ever agreeing to run an adventure, we listened somewhat half-heartedly while he explained.

The game is 'the show that never was'. The characters are the Queen's Men, this being a variant of the The Agency, set in an earlier period. Nope, this didn't register, nor did his comment that suiting my character up in a dapper wing collared coat, top hat and impressive drooping moustache was impressively anachronistic.

The explanation continued. The game is set on two levels. At one level there are a series of events that take place and the characters have to outwit, outfight and outthink the adversaries encountered, be they monsters, minions or natural events. Your run-of-the-mill RPG stuff we are all familiar with. The other level however puts a twist on this that I have never encountered the like of before. The whole of the stuff above is nothing more than poorly made stage props as the whole thing is nothing more than the set of a TV programme. In this case it was a TV programme suffering from budget cuts at a time when stuntmen are striking. The whole thing was being directed by a mad Frenchman (or was he German? accents were all over the show).

The game is very much rules light with a few stats and skills and motif about the character (as portrayed in the show). I went with facial close-ups in important scenes. These can be used to keep a character in a scene they would normally be booted from when, for a better expression, everything goes tits-up for them.
Each player also gets to chuck into the pot a complication that can later be taken by a player to give their character a bonus in that scene but will come back to haunt them. You make them up.

We added: foreign spy; drunk on set; wooden leg; betrayed by lover

The story was fairly straightforward. Earl of Dudley had abducted the daughter of a Lord Eltham (it was not dawning on me that maybe it was going to be set in mini-skirt heaven) and had taken her to an abandoned castle.

We opened with a quick one-on-one for each player to introduce the character and get a feel for how their actor plays him. A wizards lab with strange bubbling beakers and glass jars filled with pickled creatures for Dr John Dee, some roughhousing for Sir Francis Bacon and for Christopher Marlowe (my character), apologising to the lady as he leaves the bed to answer the Queens call (with cover strategically placed to cover the corset of the overweight middle-aged actor).

The opening scene in which the description of castle on the hill was met by a reiteration of the Camelot scene from Monty Pythons Holy Grail quickly got us into the swing of the game. Pretending to be an actor who is playing the part of the an Elizabethan agent, struggling under the weight of fallen masonry which is in fact polystyrene, polystyrene which due to budget cuts is only painted on one side. Lots of swaying around in our chairs with arms above heads trying to keep the imaginary painted side of the block pointing towards cameras ensued. More beer was ordered.

We battle our way through tumbling polystyrene blocks while hands in painted marigold gloves reach out at us from just off camera and things are going well, that is until one of the unpaid extras (as there are no stuntmen) manages to slap Sir Francis Bacon by accident. A proper punch-up occurs pretty much bringing everything down and the scene is wrapped as the Bacon, mosschops now dangling is last seen chasing the extra between the trailers.

Further scenes unfold in which Dr John Dee uses his mystical powers of levitation (things dangling from fishing rods) and a hurled monster strikes a fire alarm, which requires post-production sound effects and voice over. Most of them start with Bacon sporting a fresh set of moss-chops (in assorted colours, having quickly exhausted his own stock causing make-up to improvise) and end with him pummelling the same extra. More beer is consumed both by actors and players alike.

Oh, right, so we are in Elizabethan times. Gotcha. My character will ditch his top hat for the next scene.
Dealing with mermaids (shot in soft focus) looking to drag us into the ornamental pond required some cunning. The first was persuaded to slip out of the scene and make her way to the trailer of the character playing Christopher Marlowe. To the other it was explained that with one mermaid on the boil back at the caravan, the scene needed to be over pretty sharp, so irrespective of what it said in the script, if the little lady didnt bugger off right now, she would never work in television again. Scene wraps with Bacon dunking extra in the ornamental pond off camera.

The final scene in which (we decided with a much obliging GM to change the ending) it is revealed that the Earl of Dudley is in fact the Lord Elthams daughter the very same one my actors character started the episode in bed with (er, no it didnt make sense, if she was already abducted. We vaguely justified it as the same actress also likely to be one of the mermaids whatever, nobody watching the show would give a figs). The whole abduction thing was a ruse to lure us into a trap. It also ties up the betrayal of lover complication I picked up earlier.



A few minutes later my character is hopping across the set using his wooden leg (yeah, got that one as well) to drive back minions of the nobles daughter while Sir Francis Bacon crosses foils with the lady herself. I say lady, though by this point she has been replaced by a certain extra in a very poor wig. An extra out for revenge it needs to be added. Soon fake swords have been discarded and the pair are fighting dirty, scrapping their way across the set, knocking over fake walls and calling each other wankers. The director is having a field day, saying it is brilliant, this is how they would fight and to keep rolling. Bacon grapples her/him to a hold and rips of the wig. Dr Dee declares its a man and the camera zooms in Christopher Marlowes face (recreated at the gaming table by use of fingers and thumbs to frame my face to a reveal a look of horror.

As it turned out, the chap running the game was none other than its creator. We bumped into him the following day, quite sober for a change. He confirmed that we had actually played it in the fashion it was meant (there was a debate over breakfast as to whether he was just humouring a bunch of drunks). I would recommend giving it a go for pure comedy value.





 
News
Is open for business...
 
******Empire Syndicated News Network (ESNN) ******

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Welcome to the latest version of ESNN, giving the news and views from the ESNN's reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, making this the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe from our new home in the Heartland,

And so with the news from the last few weeks,
 
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*** Inter Galactic News ***
  • DEN assault FEL base and get wiped out
  • CIA Trade fleet caught and destroyed by the DEN
  • Krell denounce worship of the True One

  •  
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Huge fleet skirmish at the London/Crossley wormhole

    A large fleet of over 700 DEN warships responded to the EMP action in Crossley, where a 4000 hull DEN platform was destroyed. Reports show the DEN ships caught a group of CIA ships napping and inflicted significant losses on the humans. IMP and GTT fleets moved to assist the CIA, matching DEN fleet numbers, but the arrival of over 1200 Hexamon ships seems to have tipped the battle in favour of the DEN-HEX alliance.

    The combined DEN-HEX force pushed through the wormhole into the Heartland area of human space and retaliated, attacking several CIA platforms in response. The outnumbered Empire fleets abandoned the area and fled, they are currently waiting for the larger alien force to make their next move from their hiding places.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Admiral Lord Simms killed after a long and distinguished service to the Empire.

    The Imperial Services have intercepted and serious damaged several DEN ships on the way to the Empire’s home systems. Unfortunately during the action Admiral Lord Simms was injured and reports from the Viceroy indicate he has passed away, fighting the enemies of the Empire like any true Imperial Officer.

    The Viceroy has stated that the officers and crew of the DEN ships have been captured and are now awaiting trial at a secret IMP base.

    DEN continue to strike at the Empire

    Reports are coming in of multiple engagements between the Empire and the Dewiek Elder Nation over the last week. With several battles taking out Empire ships in the Heartland of the CIA.

    AFT turn to piracy

    The Association of Free Traders have, after a long history of neutrality, turned to piracy this week. AFT Drake boarded an IND ship in the Halo periphery, killing several of the crew in the process.
    Independent trader Jarlebanke Langhofdi immediately took to the public communication channel demanding an answer to why supposedly peaceful traders had killed his crew and taken his ship.

    The AFT remain silent over the attack.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Combat Special Edition

    Since the DEN started shooting at those lovable FEL fluffballs things have certainly been heating up. So we through it would be prudent to bring you, gentle beings of the peripheries, a special edition in order to keep you updated with all the latest action in regards to who the DEN are shooting and who is shooting them.

    Felini strike back at Dewiek

    Reports have come in of the FEL striking back at the DEN in the Kallisan system. A huge FEL force supported by the IMP and CIA assaulted DEN positions taking both the platform and base called Lucien. There was much rejoicing in the FEL camp as the Felini proved they were not such lovable fluffballs after all!

    GTT get sucked into the war

    A passing fleet of GTT warships got caught in the fighting and this saw the GTT enter the war. When asked about this CEO Fox pointed out they are not warships at all, they are trade defence ships. So how they came to be in the DEN system of Kallisan is a mystery to us. But the GTT CEO was clear that they only engaged using support and defend orders to protect allies. Needless to say, the CEO commented “We found ourselves on the Dewiek Nation’s enemy lists pretty soon after.”

    Dewiek Nation attacks GTT positions in Orion Spur, breaking DOM system rules

    A fleet of DEN warships has engaged and destroyed a significant number of GTT cargo ships and escorts in the DOM system Monument. The GTT immediately took to the public channels to ask why the DOM were not doing something. In reply the DOM issued a statement to stop, which the DEN ignored.

    The DEN newssheet "The HOWL" published a completely unbiased review of the attack shortly after.

    DOM make a choice

    After the above incident and then further raiding by the DEN, taking out a few GTT cargo ships in the DOM system of Coptuv, the DOM seemed to have been faced with a choice of stopping drinking their tea and doing something or just hoping it would go away. Instead they seem to have decided to abandon the whole idea of being an active affiliation and we have since folded. The lengths some people will go to not to have their elevenses disturbed is truly staggering. We asked the DOM for a statement on their new system rules to share with our readers but have received no replies.

    DOM positions share out

    Just as we were going to press news has come in of various DOM assets being given to other affiliations or sold. Hopefully we will have more on this story in the next issue of your favorite factual newsheet. Yes, that's us at the SSS.

    *** Affiliations ***


    AFT Association of Free Traders (54) - Marion Tweedy
    CIA Combined Intelligence Agency (64) - Laton CIA
    DNA Displaced Natives Asylum (66) - DNA people
    DTR Detinus Republic (58) - Morley Decker
    DEN Dewiek Elder Nation (67) - Urd
    DOM Dominion (57) – we believe the DOM are now inactive
    FCN Falconian Republic (70) - Bacran
    FEL Felini Tyranny (49) - Juris
    FLZ Flagritz Republic (47) - Kayxaer
    FET Frontier Exploration & Trade (56) - Cu Chulainn
    GRC Gracians (13) - HG1
    GTT Galactic Trade & Transport (52) - Xavier Fox
    GCE Garcia Enterprises (4) - Neil
    HEX Hexamon (23) - Ando
    IMP Imperial Services (51) - Jack Jones
    KRL Krell (30) - Namica
    KRT Krell of the Reverence Temple (37) - Kal Torak
    KST Kastor Kastorians (12) - Kastor
    MZC Mizuchi Combine (86) - Mizuchi
    MOH Mohache (73) - Listens
    MIC Mohache Independent Commune (76) - Sleeps with Dragons
    NLF Naplian Liberation Front (38) - NLFHQ
    RIP Regularly Involved in Piracy - Githyanki
    RRH Roy Robert Holdings (39) - Roy Roberts
    SMS Stellar Mining and Smelting (53) - MikhailM
    USN Ulian Stellar Nation (34) - Oeipus Prime
    WMB Wimble Nations (25) - zz

    * Leader MAY be inactive, affiliation may be active
    ** Affiliation has no leader but this is the only known contact

    NPC / FoC: ARC, CIV, CGT, FRE, HBO, HEF, IND, ISP, JCN, MEK, MRC, PIR, PRV, TCA, TRN, KAS

    Inactive: ANT, BHD, COD, HVE, IDC, RIP, RCF, SKW, TAG

    Deceased: CAL

    *** Submission ***

    By private message to The Editor or via Mica if you prefer to remain anonymous.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    New pirate threat rocks Corward Arm.

    Several large pirate ships have been spotted in outer rings of Corward systems. Reports forwarded to us at the SSS allow us to exclusively tell readers that traders should keep their wits about them when moving through these areas.

    No existing pirate menace has yet claimed ownership.

    In a possibly unrelated event one of the FET cartel members claimed nothing was happening in the outer ring of Coptov shortly afterwards. But it could be that they are still trying to catch Empire backed pirates and have nothing to do with the new sightings.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****


    DEN continue to shoot innocents

    The Dewiek have made themselves busy shooting at the peaceful and innocent traders of the SSL. Leader of Solar Spices and Liquors Mr TOAD has been vocal pointing out that the Beast-DEN are being totally unfair. News of a go-fund-me appeal are yet to surface though.

    This office is sure that it must have provided the DEN light relief after picking on the equally defenceless Felini. Word is that the DEN faced such an uphill struggle in these recent actions they had to take up Felini inter-breeding to provide some entertainment as the battle reports were rather boring.
     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Return of the LiQuans

    A close associate of the Baron LiQuan has been haunting the Corewards periphery and like the old Baron it is said he has a meklan connection. It's unclear whether he obtained his meklan nanites via the CIA but there are rumours that the DEN may be helping the Liquan relative in a bid to sow discontent in the Stellar Empire. Exactly why they would start in Corewards is unclear although with DEN allies, the DOM, having strong positions both in the Sol system and the old Harcorp systems of Harlong and Coptuv they may be the linking factor.


     
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    ***** Inter Galactic News *****

    Meklan Unleashed on Mobile Bay

    Mad Dewiek scientist Dr Kala released a number of Meklan on the busy world of Mobile Bay in the Yank system. Thousands of civilians have been killed in what is treated by DEN warlords as an amusing practical joke. Rather than take any responsibility for their affiliation’s reckless behaviour, a DEN lord rumoured to be half-meklan himself quipped he would nuke the planet whilst another merely saw it as an opportunity to test some of his greener troops in combat. Surprisingly, the KAS planetary defence force was up to the job of repelling the insidious incursion. Questions remain whether further meklan are stored elsewhere on the planet and whether anybody will challenge the Dewiek’s lack of care for the lives of innocents. Probably not, given how even the mighty IMP are now cowering from a fight with the DEN (see inside this edition).


     

    Free Ship when you sign-up
    Complete missions for in game rewards
    Control everything, up to an entire empire
    Dedicated human moderators
    Player and Moderator driven plotlines
    Discover new worlds to explore, exploit & colonise
    Over 20 years of content development
    Persistent Browser-Based Game (PBBG)

    I’ve played on and off for approximately 10 years, over a 20 year spell. After some interesting debate on the in-game forum, I did wonder what, exactly, has kept drawing me back to the game, when for so many others I’ve generally lost interest after a few months.

    Ultimately, I think it is a combination of automation (that allows the game to handle thousands of positions to interact on a daily basis) coupled with Special Actions (that allow the story arc to develop in a way that could not be catered for by a set of predefined list of available orders).
    -Zigic