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Blog of the Week - Passing Time

The things we do to pass the time

It had been a slow return to activity for Githyanki, his surviving fleet was scattered to all corners of the universe, and a good number of which were very slow to return, his war fleet was still months away from being operationally ready and he was bored and somewhat distressingly everywhere he looked there was peace and quiet, he could not even intercede on events occurring around him, shag all was happening.

So he did what any enterprising sort would do when faced with eternal boredom, smoked a heaven herb joint, watched a little performance from his favourite dancing girl and resigned himself to the humdrum task of sorting out some outposts. As it happened absence had again profited his little empire with an abundant stockpile of rare ore, and with the few freighters he had loitering around in port, he set about some basic housekeeping. As he worked his way down his base manifest he stumbled on a long forgotten relic, a relic of a long forgotten war, least for him, DOM Straddle Boomerang I.

The Straddle project, code named Tumbleweed, had been an ambitious moment of madness no doubt conjured up whilst under the influence of some seriously funky narcotics, it was simple enough really, ground scout assessments had, from an early stage rated the DTR base on boomerang as beyond formidable and it had been quickly dismissed as a viable ground target, straddle was a decoy in the end, a combat test and one to check new loyalties. But the base presented a problem, especially as it was fundamentally linked to the trumped up nonsense used as a reason for the war, so something needed to be done and if we could not have it, then they should not want it…..

Stage one was easy, drop in a science station, place within it a core team of key scientists, covering a number of fields and a token defence force, add in some submerged foundations and hey presto a hidden base appeared. The nature of the plan required a landscape of coastal shallows, and the wicked side of Githyanki’s nature ruled the day when shallows were identified one sector away from the main DTR base. Stage two was a mish mash of muddled ideas, that ultimately lead to a theory of planetary destabilisation. Stick enough explosives in direct proximity to the planetary fault lines, deep enough, an issue nicely solved with further submerged foundations and you could potentially trigger a global catastrophe. Add in some chemical agents to change the atmosphere and create genocide amongst the population and the Empire would not have to remove the DTR, given enough time they would leave themselves.

But the idea even in theory was nonsense, the chance of success was tiny, and the volume of explosives made for a number of logistical shipping problems, and so the idea was canned, the spare foundations instead used to set up some sacrificial artillery bases to keep the DTR thinking straddle was the target, all of which were killed in the first days of the war. But the science station remained, a few soldiers, few tanks and a handful of science bods………..

Githyanki figured it was time to remove them, the war was done and the base could be decommissioned, so without thinking and in keeping with his generally cavalier attitude he sent a rescue tug for the men, the tanks and all other hardware was expendable and orders were issued for the base team to destroy all materials and rig the caves for collapse. Githyanki went back to his dancing girl and enjoyed his smoke as the haze descended.

Imagine his surprise when the following morning showed a missing com signal from the dispatched ship, and a quick position ping showed it as non-responsive, he called up the ships logs, which operated a standard live replication feed to relay stations scattered around the peripheries’, the final recording was cut short and the cause was unmistakable……..Githyanki was furious with himself, school boy error he thought, not checking the system lists, and the ship was the eighth is a squad of ten, one of the few to have survived intact during his vacation, it irked him greatly and the bloody DTR of all people.

And then a curious thought started to form, lending clarity to his annoyance of losing the ship, could the DTR be convinced to replace the ship? Granted they were well within their rights to destroy it, but that just made the challenge more appealing, and Githyanki, after all was bored. It was an old game and he considered himself accomplished at it, a lie, no no, better yet an exaggeration, and like all good exaggerations it should be based on an element of tangible truth, he connected to the open political channels, I’ll start with indignation he thought, see if I can get them to take the bait, and after all it is exactly the sort of thing they might expect of me……………………

Within a mere matter of days, Githyanki was pleased with himself, the plan was working out wonderfully well, the DTR governor was hooked, and during the dialogue Githyanki had sent a secondary fleet of ships to enact a hostile orbit extraction, a minor chance if the DTR had reacted sensibly, but he figured they would not, or not quickly enough, and the team had been extracted from the single base cleanly, the material all but destroyed and only enough caves left to keep it hidden along with a few jammers. And then his poker face slipped for a second, just a second mind, a ‘tell’ if you like, the unmistakeable twitch of an old gambler having the slightest moment of doubt, Githyanki got carried away.

Such was his personal amusement at the hidden bases location, he could not resist, he just simply had to let everyone else in on the gag, and besides a physical confirmation and one parked in their backyard would lend great credibility to the ruse, and so he publically posted its location and transponder code, but he had misread his opponents hand, and the publically given location of the base led to its immediate capture, a move he had not predicted and he cursed as he lost his only real card in the game……..still the key too all good bluffs was staying true to your path, and besides the DTR had brought the illusion of many bases, a hidden asteroid and a mad man on the trigger of a remote detonator, but there was a small ripple. Githyanki had always allowed himself a great deal of latitude when it came to the truth on open channels, it was no different to any other media outlet and the SSS had for many long years been the personal media channel for the DTR, but in personal private communications he liked to be a little more morally grounded, and if the governor had asked for details of other positions, or made his offer of a replacement ship on more specific terms, the game would have been up, but he did not, and Githyanki could simply make the assurance that when the ship had been received all his personal DOM assets within the straddle system would be relinquished, and so he duly waited, and two days later a better ship graced his manifests in the solo system.

The deed was done, all that remained was the concluding communication, ‘Governor’ he wrote, it is with great pleasure that I confirm the receipt of the replacement vessel for the one tragically destroyed in the Straddle system, and true to my word I am pleased to confirm that all my personal DOM assets within said system are now within your care. It is gratifying to see that reasonableness ruled the day…………………..

Only thing left really was the public trade channel, a finishing touch and an object lesson on the value of ships and crews, silly bastards flew into an open no fly zone, not fit to wear DOM colours, let them rot he thought as he took a long sip on his malt whiskey and blew a smoke ring into the air.



 
News
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Hoedown in Graydown ***

Wimbles in the Graydown system have come under repeated attacks by mercenaries. The Wimbles having already lost two outposts have had their ships come under attack by boarders. The Wimbles are pointing a hairy finger at the GTT whilst the DEN are itching to get their paws in.

Pleasantly rotund Wolf Lord Lyceum reported the destruction of one mercenary ship, a Corsair class explorer called "Eye of the Chosen" which had earlier dropped off ground forces flying the banner of "God Hates Wimbles.” Which God and why he or she hates Wimbles has yet to be revealed. We suspect its corporation-loving Mammon.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Sargasso Update * Wakerians * Naplian Liberation Front * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Breaking News: Caliph Samuel Assassinated ***

The nominal head of the Caliphate, Samuel has been murdered in broad daylight at the starbase CAL Sidon in the Fortress system. The allegedly mad zealot was on his way to meet representatives of various civilian factions when a shadowy figure *cough*CIA agent*cough* shot him dead.

The CIA issued the following statement to the SSS with a customary nudge and a wink: "In these difficult times, as we come to terms with the loss of Samuel, we are taking things one day at a time.

"Samuel was not only our Caliph, but our leader during the Second Civil War which laid the foundations for the Confederacy after he left the Human Empire and settled in the Darkfold. It is truly a sad day and one that will be marked in history as one of many great leaders who were cut down in their prime.

"We will strive now to look to the future, whilst remembering our past”

Speculation is rife that this is the first step towards a unification of the two-halves of the Stellar Empire. Others are more hopeful this is a return to the Confederacy or the mark of greater separation with the Imperial bloc. Time will tell what nebulous motives the shadowy puppet-master Laton turned out to have had and which alien faction will be blamed for the Caliph’s murder.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * HEX / FET Invade Sargasso * Magnus v Nevets Fight! * Dewiek Black Hole Disaster * FLZ Correction * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** STOP PRESS: Felini Victory ***

In an unexpected development, the FEL have scored a decisive victory against the FLZ. Destroying or maiming some 20 Flagritz Baseships in the Onwards system.

What is more remarkable than the victory was there was no subsequent comment by Crazy Uncle Flagritz. We might need to have a lie down now.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN and FEL * Valhalla Fighting Pits * RIP smacked * &etc


 
***** Christmas Special Edition *****

*** Ho Ho Ho ***

Welcome to the SSS Christmas Special Edition! We the Editors have put together a nostalgic pudding treat intended to delight and tickle even the scroogiest megacorp executive. So gather your cubs, squidlets and larvae for some silliness and song. Time to catch up with some classics from years gone by, raise your glasses and drink your gluttony and shame away!

Wishing you all a merry Christmas free from Krampus Jones's invading armies!

The Editors


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Claws Out in Valhalla ***

In a bold rebuke of Crazy Uncle Flagritz’s attacks in the Avalon system, the cunning Felini Nevets ordered a hit on a FLZ outpost in the Valhalla system. Claiming miscommunication with his warships, the mischevious Avatar cocked a snook at the washed-out Dewiek warrior in charge of the system whilst claiming an important victory in the often one-sided conflict against the FLZ.

This isn’t the first time the foxy Feline has masked daring-do in the shroud of incompetence. It remains to be seen whether this turns out as disastrously as the time when the FEL had to pay the costs of a war started by Prince-turned-meklan LiQuan.

Meower-in-chief Chamiah apologised for the incident in a public address laced with snickering subtext and unconcealed laughter when she got to the bit about the unfortunate loss of “5 FLZ Warships in Onwards.”

A second incident in Valhalla was reported the next day with mardy Magnus complaining he wasn’t getting his claws in on the action. Could this be the pithy ploy that puts the cat on the mat?

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Merc-y Wimbles * Valhalla Fighting Pits Get Weird * Profile of Lyceum Amaguk * &etc


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Nun on the Run ***

Alleged cosplayer Carmilla D’Morenta got the vicars in the Brotherhood all hot and bothered when she made a run for it. Possibly tired of being tied up by the reverends and denied the love that dare not howl its name. With a sizeable, almost unbelievable, bounty on her head, the barking sister took refuge with the Dewiek Elder Nation.

In possibly the shortest chase in history, the BHD managed to strike a blow for oppressed collars everywhere when they squared off with the naughty doggy-wannabe at the Valhalla stargate. The cheeky chaplains blew their hyperdrive at close range and both the BHD and DEN flagged ships were reported to be lost in space.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN Ban BHD * Ulian * FLZ in Avalon * Valhalla Fighting Pits * Interview with Carmilla * And more


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The New Editors ***

Dear Reader,

It has been a long time since we had the exquisite joy of Sub Space Static beaming mind-altering information into our retinas. Like you, we craved word from the offices of the IGN when the next edition would hit our Nexus terminals. We waited and waited. Then we got curious.

We fundraised a simple surveyor and sent it to the last sighting of the IGN. It was not where we expected it to be, in the Yank system. We asked the Junta but they were their usual helpful selves. Weeks, turned into months and still no sign.

Then we found it. The singularity. With a sign. The scrawl of a demented child that read "Kang woz 'ere." What could we do but enter. Our ship went in. Where, we cannot say. The air around us popped. Our faces folded and our bodies fused together. Our minds interconnected. Vast knowledge at our disposal. Yet, we became as stupid as the least of us. As greedy as the worst of us. As forgetful as the dumbest of us. As horribly biased as a partisan hack in a post-truth universe.

We became, in short, your Editors.

Welcome to the new SSS. It won't be as funny as before. It won't be clever by half. It won't be any better in any way. But it will be regular. As a mohache on refined laxatives. It will be informative. Oh it will be full of facts! Even if we have to make them up.

Send us your delicious exploration reports. Tell us about your pointless battles. Spread your vile anonymous rumours. Tell us how your mother didn't love you and that's why <insert Affiliation here> must be destroyed! Feed us, your Editors. Nurture us. Our Singularity opens to receive your offering.

Now here is the news.

 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after an extended tour of the Inner Empire and all the delights within,

And so with the news, and there has been a lot of it!


Old News - FLZ/ GTT Break Ceasefire Agreement
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Ulian Peace Agreements
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after a period of "secured safety training" for the CSNN team who was taken in by Caliphate security forces,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Empire Takes Ulian System, Empire Fleet Deployed