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Blog of the Week - A Festive Update

Greetings my friends. I trust you all had a good time over Christmas and for those of you who do not celebrate Christmas, I hope you all had a relaxing time too.
To our non-human friends, I hope whatever celebrations you have either went or will go with much fun and happiness.
I send this message from my home, rather than the base as all our family are here, staying with us for the week.
I just want to let you all know that the last of the freed prisoners were safely delivered to their people and were able to spend this time with their loved ones as I had hoped.
There were some delays as I underestimated the distances between the various drop-off planets but it is now done.
As you know, the Felini were the first to be delivered. After that, my ship made her way to a Hexamon base where the reverted Hive were welcomed.
As they were transferred the Hexamon representative said something which translated as, "We are the Hexamon. We send greetings to the honourable individual known as Gaijin. We thank you for delivering these young to us and we shall see that they are looked after and are given a place in our collective. That is all."
Not much for speeches, the Hexamon, but nice folk nevertheless.

After that, the final drop-off was with the Falconians.
They were transferred safely back to their own people and were warmly welcomed as they stepped onto the Hiport elevator.
The Falconian representative thanked us for delivering their people safely back to them and then my ship came back home so that her crew could take their leave to be with THEIR families over Christmas and the holidays.

Here at home, things have been hectic but fun. Mashita wanted to cook the Christmas lunch, but in her condition I was having none of it. I hired a catering firm to cook a splendid Christmas lunch for us all the day before and my father and I served on the day.
Gifts were exchanged, silly party hats were worn and crackers were pulled.
After a fantastic feast, washed down with double helpings of Christmas Pudding and plenty of port, we all relaxed.
Mashita wasn't drinking anything because of her pregnancy, but she enjoyed the fruit punch that we had served up for the kids. (My brother's and sister's little ones.)

I'll be home until next week to celebrate the New Year. It is an old Earth custom that dates back many centuries. After which I shall be returning to the base to make sure everything is back up and running again.

I never did mention. When I first took over the base, I had a chat with the employees of the base. There were LOADS of them. I didn't realise I had taken on such a responsibility. Anyway, a makeshift stage was set-up with a microphone so that everyone could see and hear me.
I told them that only some minor changes would be made for now. The factories would be mostly shut down temporarily. The research lab's would be unaffected and would be allowed to continue uninterrupted.
I authorised construction of a couple of new facilities that I had been considering and then I asked them if there were any questions or complaints.
There was a hovering microphone which was able to travel to anyone who I chose to speak with. One man asked if the market would still be open.
I told him that - temporarily - the market was closed. I would be shipping some products to sell at other bases using my own fleet, but other than that, nothing would be coming in or going out.
Than a Hive employee raised his/her hand. The mic' translated for me. It asked if I was going to hire any new staff. It said that it enjoyed working at the base, but that everyone was overworked because there simply weren't enough personnel to COPE.
That started a few people shouting. When I finally called for silence, one man spoke up. He said there were more SECURITY personnel than there were EMPLOYEES.
I told him that that was the situation as I inherited it and that you could never be too careful when thinking about security. I told them that I would be looking to rectify the situation however by buying some Employees from different markets so that soon they would be fully staffed once more.
Other than that, it was just basic worker's gripes.

Well my friends, I've just been told that a movie is about to begin and so I bid you all adieu and wish you all a very happy New Year.
Here's to even greater profits in the year to come. This is Gaijin signing off.

 
News
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Breaking News: Caliph Samuel Assassinated ***

The nominal head of the Caliphate, Samuel has been murdered in broad daylight at the starbase CAL Sidon in the Fortress system. The allegedly mad zealot was on his way to meet representatives of various civilian factions when a shadowy figure *cough*CIA agent*cough* shot him dead.

The CIA issued the following statement to the SSS with a customary nudge and a wink: "In these difficult times, as we come to terms with the loss of Samuel, we are taking things one day at a time.

"Samuel was not only our Caliph, but our leader during the Second Civil War which laid the foundations for the Confederacy after he left the Human Empire and settled in the Darkfold. It is truly a sad day and one that will be marked in history as one of many great leaders who were cut down in their prime.

"We will strive now to look to the future, whilst remembering our past”

Speculation is rife that this is the first step towards a unification of the two-halves of the Stellar Empire. Others are more hopeful this is a return to the Confederacy or the mark of greater separation with the Imperial bloc. Time will tell what nebulous motives the shadowy puppet-master Laton turned out to have had and which alien faction will be blamed for the Caliph’s murder.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * HEX / FET Invade Sargasso * Magnus v Nevets Fight! * Dewiek Black Hole Disaster * FLZ Correction * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** STOP PRESS: Felini Victory ***

In an unexpected development, the FEL have scored a decisive victory against the FLZ. Destroying or maiming some 20 Flagritz Baseships in the Onwards system.

What is more remarkable than the victory was there was no subsequent comment by Crazy Uncle Flagritz. We might need to have a lie down now.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN and FEL * Valhalla Fighting Pits * RIP smacked * &etc


 
***** Christmas Special Edition *****

*** Ho Ho Ho ***

Welcome to the SSS Christmas Special Edition! We the Editors have put together a nostalgic pudding treat intended to delight and tickle even the scroogiest megacorp executive. So gather your cubs, squidlets and larvae for some silliness and song. Time to catch up with some classics from years gone by, raise your glasses and drink your gluttony and shame away!

Wishing you all a merry Christmas free from Krampus Jones's invading armies!

The Editors


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Claws Out in Valhalla ***

In a bold rebuke of Crazy Uncle Flagritz’s attacks in the Avalon system, the cunning Felini Nevets ordered a hit on a FLZ outpost in the Valhalla system. Claiming miscommunication with his warships, the mischevious Avatar cocked a snook at the washed-out Dewiek warrior in charge of the system whilst claiming an important victory in the often one-sided conflict against the FLZ.

This isn’t the first time the foxy Feline has masked daring-do in the shroud of incompetence. It remains to be seen whether this turns out as disastrously as the time when the FEL had to pay the costs of a war started by Prince-turned-meklan LiQuan.

Meower-in-chief Chamiah apologised for the incident in a public address laced with snickering subtext and unconcealed laughter when she got to the bit about the unfortunate loss of “5 FLZ Warships in Onwards.”

A second incident in Valhalla was reported the next day with mardy Magnus complaining he wasn’t getting his claws in on the action. Could this be the pithy ploy that puts the cat on the mat?

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Merc-y Wimbles * Valhalla Fighting Pits Get Weird * Profile of Lyceum Amaguk * &etc


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Nun on the Run ***

Alleged cosplayer Carmilla D’Morenta got the vicars in the Brotherhood all hot and bothered when she made a run for it. Possibly tired of being tied up by the reverends and denied the love that dare not howl its name. With a sizeable, almost unbelievable, bounty on her head, the barking sister took refuge with the Dewiek Elder Nation.

In possibly the shortest chase in history, the BHD managed to strike a blow for oppressed collars everywhere when they squared off with the naughty doggy-wannabe at the Valhalla stargate. The cheeky chaplains blew their hyperdrive at close range and both the BHD and DEN flagged ships were reported to be lost in space.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN Ban BHD * Ulian * FLZ in Avalon * Valhalla Fighting Pits * Interview with Carmilla * And more


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The New Editors ***

Dear Reader,

It has been a long time since we had the exquisite joy of Sub Space Static beaming mind-altering information into our retinas. Like you, we craved word from the offices of the IGN when the next edition would hit our Nexus terminals. We waited and waited. Then we got curious.

We fundraised a simple surveyor and sent it to the last sighting of the IGN. It was not where we expected it to be, in the Yank system. We asked the Junta but they were their usual helpful selves. Weeks, turned into months and still no sign.

Then we found it. The singularity. With a sign. The scrawl of a demented child that read "Kang woz 'ere." What could we do but enter. Our ship went in. Where, we cannot say. The air around us popped. Our faces folded and our bodies fused together. Our minds interconnected. Vast knowledge at our disposal. Yet, we became as stupid as the least of us. As greedy as the worst of us. As forgetful as the dumbest of us. As horribly biased as a partisan hack in a post-truth universe.

We became, in short, your Editors.

Welcome to the new SSS. It won't be as funny as before. It won't be clever by half. It won't be any better in any way. But it will be regular. As a mohache on refined laxatives. It will be informative. Oh it will be full of facts! Even if we have to make them up.

Send us your delicious exploration reports. Tell us about your pointless battles. Spread your vile anonymous rumours. Tell us how your mother didn't love you and that's why <insert Affiliation here> must be destroyed! Feed us, your Editors. Nurture us. Our Singularity opens to receive your offering.

Now here is the news.

 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

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Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after an extended tour of the Inner Empire and all the delights within,

And so with the news, and there has been a lot of it!


Old News - FLZ/ GTT Break Ceasefire Agreement
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Ulian Peace Agreements
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after a period of "secured safety training" for the CSNN team who was taken in by Caliphate security forces,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Empire Takes Ulian System, Empire Fleet Deployed
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, continuing with a shortened "No News makes Good news?" special!

And so with the news,
 

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