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Diary of a Felini

Diary of a Felini

The young cubs stared up at her, lounging across the sun warmed rock. She was old and moved with a sway back and favoured her left side. When she first arrived here she was pretty much ignored, much as she wanted it though as always rumours followed her. At first adults would stop by her preferred resting spot, wait for her to acknowledge them, than bow their head respectfully before moving on. The cubs, always more exuberant and clueless in the ways of society would congregate crouching in the grass and swapping stories, always trying to outdo each other in their implausibility.

Her starfaring days may now be behind her and much of the wetware stripped, but a few features she retained, namely augmented hearing and vision. Their stories amused her and caused her to cast her mind back to when she was their age and listening to her mother’s talk of the times before the occupation. To have lived in that innocent time when prides roamed the fertile savannahs technology little better than Stone Age...


Her ear twitched forward. One of the cubs had pinned another down and was saying how people like her caused the Flagritz to slaughter entire prides.

From a prone position she was instantly first on her feet and then silently arcing through the air. Five metres down and fifteen between her and the cub. She would pay for the landing later but for now it was lessen time, in the style of ancient operas.
The infant was sent sprawling and tried to gain her feet. Not bad, but her actions were telegraphed and with a paw, retrained, face pushed in the thin dead, dusty soil.

Arching her back and stretched, she turned languidly to view the startled crowd. If she had their attention before, she now held them transfixed.
‘Thankfully you have never seen a Flagritz in the flesh. They are grotesque. They are flaccid, though you don’t see that under all their plastic and metal. They are weak. A quick slit,’ she drew a bead across the lower torso of the trapped cub causing her to yelp, though no blood was drawn, ‘and they ooze out bilious entrails. The will thrash about for hours forming pools of stinking slime as they die.
‘But that’s if you can get close. They are always armed and armoured, even their civilians carry weapons and have their vulnerable places protected. They are wrapped in their technology and always shoot first.

‘They came in the day and in numbers. They killed any that looked up at them and few more just to get our attention. They dragged away any they thought fit to work in their fields and mines. They killed because they were angry or simply for sport. They killed on a whim. If you think that being good little slaves, or negotiating with them would have changed the course of history, you are a fool. As a child, they slaughtered my mother and threw me in a ditch having kicked me across the grounds for fun. There were other bodies there, all my friends and all dead.’

She lifted her leg and the cub scrambled away, shocked and angry at being put down in front of her peers.
‘They say you murdered fifty children.’

For a moment her eyes lost their focus, staring into the distance, into the past.

‘It was in the final days of the occupation. We had broken them and they were in full flight, killing their slaves, our people before they could revolt. We came across one of their small holdings in the Aristian mountains. We tracked the movement of cycling shuttles evacuating the civilians. In typical Flagritz style they had first removed all the troops and were going back for their civilians when we hit them. It was a massacre. I interrogated one. Seems these were pacifists wanting to stay and help rebuild the world, even integrate peacefully. We eviscerated them. That’s when I found tracks leading off. A small group had fled. For three days I followed, picking off the stragglers – mostly children and their mothers. I observed the final few and discovered they were unarmed. I hit them that night leaving none alive. Yes I killed fifty and many more since.’




‘The hard truth is that children grow to adults and are destined to commit the crimes of their parents. This is why I have dedicated my life to hunting Flagritz across this world and any other. Some day we will reach their homeworld and once there we will slaughter every one we find. Until the species is no more, we can never rest.

‘My mother says that it is people like you that stop us putting the past behind us and forging peace with the Flagritz.’ The cub was still trying to win the argument.

‘What of the hundreds of thousands of our people dragged back to their homeworld and their children, forced to grow up in servitude?
‘The Flagritz will call for truces and treaties when in retreat but I know that every last one of them even unto the unborn infant, given time and the upper hand will tear up any treaty and ignore any truce. They will always seek to enslave, torture and murder every other species for their own amusement.’

She turned and walked away, hiding a slight limp. The attitude sickened her but was becoming ever more prevalent amongst the generation born after the emancipation. Having regained the homeworld, they wished nothing more than to bury their heads and hide, pretending the past could never be repeated. She knew better.




 
News
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Hoedown in Graydown ***

Wimbles in the Graydown system have come under repeated attacks by mercenaries. The Wimbles having already lost two outposts have had their ships come under attack by boarders. The Wimbles are pointing a hairy finger at the GTT whilst the DEN are itching to get their paws in.

Pleasantly rotund Wolf Lord Lyceum reported the destruction of one mercenary ship, a Corsair class explorer called "Eye of the Chosen" which had earlier dropped off ground forces flying the banner of "God Hates Wimbles.” Which God and why he or she hates Wimbles has yet to be revealed. We suspect its corporation-loving Mammon.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Sargasso Update * Wakerians * Naplian Liberation Front * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Breaking News: Caliph Samuel Assassinated ***

The nominal head of the Caliphate, Samuel has been murdered in broad daylight at the starbase CAL Sidon in the Fortress system. The allegedly mad zealot was on his way to meet representatives of various civilian factions when a shadowy figure *cough*CIA agent*cough* shot him dead.

The CIA issued the following statement to the SSS with a customary nudge and a wink: "In these difficult times, as we come to terms with the loss of Samuel, we are taking things one day at a time.

"Samuel was not only our Caliph, but our leader during the Second Civil War which laid the foundations for the Confederacy after he left the Human Empire and settled in the Darkfold. It is truly a sad day and one that will be marked in history as one of many great leaders who were cut down in their prime.

"We will strive now to look to the future, whilst remembering our past”

Speculation is rife that this is the first step towards a unification of the two-halves of the Stellar Empire. Others are more hopeful this is a return to the Confederacy or the mark of greater separation with the Imperial bloc. Time will tell what nebulous motives the shadowy puppet-master Laton turned out to have had and which alien faction will be blamed for the Caliph’s murder.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * HEX / FET Invade Sargasso * Magnus v Nevets Fight! * Dewiek Black Hole Disaster * FLZ Correction * &etc

 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** STOP PRESS: Felini Victory ***

In an unexpected development, the FEL have scored a decisive victory against the FLZ. Destroying or maiming some 20 Flagritz Baseships in the Onwards system.

What is more remarkable than the victory was there was no subsequent comment by Crazy Uncle Flagritz. We might need to have a lie down now.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN and FEL * Valhalla Fighting Pits * RIP smacked * &etc


 
***** Christmas Special Edition *****

*** Ho Ho Ho ***

Welcome to the SSS Christmas Special Edition! We the Editors have put together a nostalgic pudding treat intended to delight and tickle even the scroogiest megacorp executive. So gather your cubs, squidlets and larvae for some silliness and song. Time to catch up with some classics from years gone by, raise your glasses and drink your gluttony and shame away!

Wishing you all a merry Christmas free from Krampus Jones's invading armies!

The Editors


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Claws Out in Valhalla ***

In a bold rebuke of Crazy Uncle Flagritz’s attacks in the Avalon system, the cunning Felini Nevets ordered a hit on a FLZ outpost in the Valhalla system. Claiming miscommunication with his warships, the mischevious Avatar cocked a snook at the washed-out Dewiek warrior in charge of the system whilst claiming an important victory in the often one-sided conflict against the FLZ.

This isn’t the first time the foxy Feline has masked daring-do in the shroud of incompetence. It remains to be seen whether this turns out as disastrously as the time when the FEL had to pay the costs of a war started by Prince-turned-meklan LiQuan.

Meower-in-chief Chamiah apologised for the incident in a public address laced with snickering subtext and unconcealed laughter when she got to the bit about the unfortunate loss of “5 FLZ Warships in Onwards.”

A second incident in Valhalla was reported the next day with mardy Magnus complaining he wasn’t getting his claws in on the action. Could this be the pithy ploy that puts the cat on the mat?

Inside this issue of the SSS: * Merc-y Wimbles * Valhalla Fighting Pits Get Weird * Profile of Lyceum Amaguk * &etc


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****

*** Nun on the Run ***

Alleged cosplayer Carmilla D’Morenta got the vicars in the Brotherhood all hot and bothered when she made a run for it. Possibly tired of being tied up by the reverends and denied the love that dare not howl its name. With a sizeable, almost unbelievable, bounty on her head, the barking sister took refuge with the Dewiek Elder Nation.

In possibly the shortest chase in history, the BHD managed to strike a blow for oppressed collars everywhere when they squared off with the naughty doggy-wannabe at the Valhalla stargate. The cheeky chaplains blew their hyperdrive at close range and both the BHD and DEN flagged ships were reported to be lost in space.

Inside this issue of the SSS: * DEN Ban BHD * Ulian * FLZ in Avalon * Valhalla Fighting Pits * Interview with Carmilla * And more


 
***** Inter Galactic News *****


*** Message From The New Editors ***

Dear Reader,

It has been a long time since we had the exquisite joy of Sub Space Static beaming mind-altering information into our retinas. Like you, we craved word from the offices of the IGN when the next edition would hit our Nexus terminals. We waited and waited. Then we got curious.

We fundraised a simple surveyor and sent it to the last sighting of the IGN. It was not where we expected it to be, in the Yank system. We asked the Junta but they were their usual helpful selves. Weeks, turned into months and still no sign.

Then we found it. The singularity. With a sign. The scrawl of a demented child that read "Kang woz 'ere." What could we do but enter. Our ship went in. Where, we cannot say. The air around us popped. Our faces folded and our bodies fused together. Our minds interconnected. Vast knowledge at our disposal. Yet, we became as stupid as the least of us. As greedy as the worst of us. As forgetful as the dumbest of us. As horribly biased as a partisan hack in a post-truth universe.

We became, in short, your Editors.

Welcome to the new SSS. It won't be as funny as before. It won't be clever by half. It won't be any better in any way. But it will be regular. As a mohache on refined laxatives. It will be informative. Oh it will be full of facts! Even if we have to make them up.

Send us your delicious exploration reports. Tell us about your pointless battles. Spread your vile anonymous rumours. Tell us how your mother didn't love you and that's why <insert Affiliation here> must be destroyed! Feed us, your Editors. Nurture us. Our Singularity opens to receive your offering.

Now here is the news.

 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after an extended tour of the Inner Empire and all the delights within,

And so with the news, and there has been a lot of it!


Old News - FLZ/ GTT Break Ceasefire Agreement
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Ulian Peace Agreements
 
****** Caliphate Syndicated News Network (CSNN) ******

user image

Welcome to another edition of news and views from the CSNN's favourite reporter and news anchor, Ainsley Moore, the peripheries' most favourite unbiased publication in the known universe, after a period of "secured safety training" for the CSNN team who was taken in by Caliphate security forces,

And so with the news,

Alien Wars - Empire Takes Ulian System, Empire Fleet Deployed
 

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